listening to the birds

Day Book for 10.25.11

2011-10-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

Outside my Window...
I'm actually outside on the patio as I type, so technically, I'm outside my window.
We had an impromptu bearings-cleaning / dinner party with Bunny & Nerdgasm. Well, I didn't clean my bearings - I would have to be skating on them more to require cleaning (boo!) But I uploaded photos from the past couple of weekends and updated Jared's phone to the new iOS5 while getting high on the fumes from the chemicals to clean said bearings. Bunny and Nerd brought dinner - they made us currywurst! That's right. Bratwurst and red curry, and it was AMAZING.

I am thinking...
It's 9:13 at the moment, and I need to go to bed in 47 minutes. *sigh*

I am thankful for...
This past Sunday - our first lazy day, spent on the couch cuddling in pajamas, dogs and cat within reach, watching movies with my love. Coincidentally, it was also our 7th wedding anniversary. And we spent it exactly how we wanted to. Shut away from the world and doing absolutely nothing productive. <3

From the kitchen...
CURRYWURST! We covered this.

I am creating...
More like should be creating - a Halloween costume. I have no idea what we're doing in that regard. *double sigh*

I am wearing...
Work clothes, knee brace, fuzzy Nap socks, speckled hoodie, and flip flops. I. Am. Glamorous.

I am reading...
Nothing. I can't seem to find the time as of late. And it sucks.

I am hoping...
To be caught up again at work by the end of this week.

I am hearing....
Rilo Kiley

Around the house...
Tidy and quiet.

Few of my favorite things... These are what Jared gave me for our anniversary. I can continue to take my own soundtrack with me, and he got me the Trifecta socks of robots, cupcakes and unicorns!

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Practice tomorrow night, follow up doctor's appointment Thursday (can I put my skates back on please?), Bowling on Friday evening with Reftribution and the gang followed by Tony & Roberta's Halloween party, Crystal's Halloween party on Saturday and hopefully Sunday is another day of rest.

Here is a picture I am sharing with you. Dancing at the bout after-party at midnight on our anniversary while Kim serenaded us with "At Last", just like she did that day seven years ago.

Bon nuit, mes amies.

You may think you're so powerful... well this is MY dream!

2011-09-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

I've had one of the best weekends! Disneyland with my love on Friday evening, a super fun bout against Dirt City Roller Rats on Saturday (with an even more fun after party!) and a lovely relaxing day of football - the first Sunday we've had in I can't remember how long, where we didn't have to do anything but just chill.

But it's the Disneyland trip I really want to write about. I've never actually put my thoughts down about this specifically, and I'll need to give you some background to properly convey how this makes me feel. Grab a drink and get comfy.

As you may or may not know, my parents divorced when I was seven. This is not tragic for me at all. In fact, I remember feeling for what seemed like months that - dare to dream - TODAY would finally be the day I would come home from school and mommy and daddy would sit me down and explain how much they both loved me, but that they didn't love each other any more and were divorcing. They'd say and do all the things parents are supposed to say to young children to help them through this traumatic and life-changing experience, just like any good after-school special. Even at that young age I could feel it, and I really just wanted it to happen already! C'mon, people, work with me here.

Their divorce was not the traumatic experience for me that it is for most children. That came about a year after. That was when my father decided that he wanted to have full custody of me, and would use all sorts of ridiculous methods to get it. Things like manipulation, intimidation and interrogation tactics - to get an 8 year old kid to essentially lie to everyone including her mother about who she really wanted to live with - and subsequently put us all through a 3 year court battle.

Night after night, my every-other-weekend-visitations with my father would consist of these "discussions." Talks where I was:
1) talked to incessantly by my wicked-smart father about all the pros of living with him
2) was somehow convinced that *I* was the one who wanted this (to this day I'm still not sure how he accomplished this, but he did.)
3) be subjected to these discussions for hours on end, sometimes until 1 and 2 o'clock in the morning and
4) was NOT allowed to bring my "blankey" with me to these discussions. Every time I tried to, he would make me go and put it back in my room and come back empty handed.

Why would I let this go on for three years? I've deduced it was for a few different reasons, but the only important one is that I was afraid. Afraid of my father, and afraid that if I didn't go along with what he wanted, I would still be subjected to my court-ordered visitations with him - only then they would be even more miserable. But alas, there is always a proverbial straw that just pushes you to the point where you just don't care any more, and consequences be damned. After one failed attempt in the summer of 1989 at trying to see how he would react to me "changing my mind" about wanting to live with him (I told him that I "wasn't sure". He EXPLODED.) I quickly retracted previously said statement.

Then Thanksgiving 1989 came around and I was sort of cornered into it by my step-mother. Some background on my step-mother: my father was her fourth marriage at around 40 years of age. Her previous marriages were all horrible. Abused as a child, raped as a teen and beaten as a wife by one or more of her previous husbands, this was pretty much the end of the line for her in terms of finding a husband she could stay with. And for all of my father's many faults, physical abuse was not one of them.

As I'm helping her with the dishes after Thanksgiving dinner, in the kitchen of the farmhouse they had been renting for a couple of years, she turns off the water, dries her hands, turns to me and puts her hands on my shoulders and quietly says, "You don't want to live with us, do you..."

PANIC.

"Yes, I do!" I squeak.

"Don't lie to me," she says just as calmly - almost kindly.

She knows. SHE KNOWS!

"Please don't tell dad!"

"I'm not going to tell him. You are."

She takes me by the hand and leads me into the den. "Erin has something she needs to tell you," she says to my father...

She held my hand the entire time, not saying a word. She didn't stand up for me, but she also didn't back up my father either. And she never let go of my hand. At this point I knew there was no turning back, no point in not being honest, come what may. I stuck to my guns.

He ranted. I stuck to my guns. He raved. I stuck to my guns. He pleaded. I stuck to my guns. He sent me to bed at 2:21am when I could barely keep my eyes open. The next day it was time to go home. When he dropped me off, he hugged me at the bottom of the walkway and said "I'll see you next weekend." I clearly remember thinking in my head "No. You won't."

I never went back.
I stuck to my guns.
I was eleven years old.

Flash forward a few years, mom and I are living in southern California. I had just started 9th grade at Moore Jr. High - my first time at public school, and I loved it. But I also started having some pretty vivid nightmares. They were like flashbacks, and they terrified me. It got so bad that I missed about 20 days of school. My mother was at her wits end with what to do with me. Talking to a therapist didn't really help. I'd get myself so worked up and then be so tired, I couldn't go to school. And 20 days is tap-dancing on the school getting involved. Something had to be done.

My mother came up with a plan. She figured that I had been deprived of a normal, happy childhood because of all of this mess, and that I needed to feel like a happy kid again. I was allowed to miss one more day of school over this, but that was it. She was putting her foot down. We both skipped school/work, and she took me to Disneyland. It was fall, 1992.

That night as we were walking through New Orleans Square, we happened to be there just as Fantasmic! was starting - Disneyland's new nighttime show on The Rivers of America. At just under 25 minutes, it was unlike anything I had ever seen. For those of you who don't know, the synopsis of the story is this: the viewer is transported into Mickey Mouse's imagination, where magic and fantasy abound. But because of how powerful the imagination can be, it gets taken over by the Disney villains and turns into Mickey's worst nightmare. After almost losing control over his own imagination, of course this is Disney and good prevails.

But it's the part right before the finale where Mickey slays Malificent the Dragon that is still my favorite to this day. I have lost count how many times I've seen this show over the past 19 years. It's in the hundreds.

That night after returning home from a fun day with mom, I had another dream. It started out the same - little 8 year old me standing in an endless black space, spotlight shining down overhead and nothing but blackness around that small circle of light. She has nothing in her hands and looks terrified. She can't see into the blackness, but knows that there's something horrible out there. She doesn't want to step out of the circle of light into the unknown, and looks like the most pathetic, forlorn kid.

But instead of continuing from there and getting worse, like it always did before, I saw myself at my then current age (14). It was so simple. I just walked up to 8 year old me and handed her her blankey. Her face relaxed, she smiled up at me, and walked off into the darkness, the fear gone. And then I woke up.

I won't pretend that I'm not still scarred from my experiences. In fact, I went to therapy in the not so distant past because I realized that, for me, it still wasn't over. But I think that was the real catalyst to finding peace with all of this - I had to choose to seek help as an adult. It was solely my decision. My choice to pick up the phone and call Kaiser. To follow through time after time and get in the car and drive to their office. To sit there, feel silly that a grown woman was still afraid of what is now a delusional old man, and go through the exercises that the therapist would suggest. And it worked. Feeling that final weight lifted was incredible.

***

SO! Friday! Jared and I drove to Anaheim and didn't get into the park until about 8:45pm. We decided to head to our favorite area (New Orleans Square) and hopefully catch the 9:00 Fantasmic! show before grabbing a late dinner at The French Market. Everything just worked out perfectly. We got into a spot just as the opening spiel started. I watched with wanton abandon like the giant child that I am when I go to Disneyland.

The fireworks show was scheduled for about 5 minutes after the end of Fantasmic! so we stayed in the area along the river for that as well. But I didn't watch the fireworks. I watched the kids in front of me watching the fireworks. I swear, Disneyland is one of the few places I can actually enjoy watching other peoples' children.

I watched this little girl and little boy watch the fireworks in awe. Towards the end, they started "conducting" the show. I was so content just to watch them. That's how childhood should be - and what better place to see that than at Disneyland? After the show, I waited to see which set of parents the little girl belonged to. Then I approached them and showed them a photo I had taken - told them I hope they didn't think I was creepy, but that I love people watching at Disneyland and what a joy it was to see their child watch the fireworks. I asked them if they wanted the photo and offered to text it to the mom - they were so appreciative, and it made my entire day to know that even though I didn't work at the Mouse House any longer, I could still spread a little magic.

We ended the night by riding my favorite ride. The one that makes me feel like the most carefree kid. I don't know why this night felt so different from others I've had at Disneyland. I always have a good time. But something with the timing being perfect for the night to flow along so organically and smoothly, combined with the hint of fall in the air (I had to wear a jacket, and I could see the finishing touches of "Haunted Mansion Holiday" almost done!), with the wonderful experience of seeing that little girl, to riding my favorite horse on my favorite ride (the red and blue one 3 or 4 horses behind "Jingles" if you're curious) - Jared and I walked to the car hand-in-hand and I felt like my chest was going to burst because my heart felt doubled in size.

If you haven't seen it, here's the full Fantasmic! show. The part I'm referring to specifically is at about the 18:00 minute mark. It looks good full screen. (You'll probably need to stop my music player on the right, if you haven't already.)

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading - I know it was a lot.

"New-To-Me" is just as good as "New"

2011-06-23T01:17:00.000-07:00

this awesomeness is available here

As is want to happen every so often, my sister-in-law has played a new-to-me song that I am now madly in love with. The funny thing is that I don't even agree with the lyrics. I won't voluntarily listen to The Beatles (so shoot me), I don't care for any of the Woody Allen movies I've seen (except for this hot scene in "Matchpoint" when Johnathan Rhys Meyers makes out with Scarlett Johansson in a field in the pouring rain), and I didn't know who Daniel Johnston was until I googled him and recognized this mural that I saw in "Whip It".

That said, this is the cutest damn video I've seen in a while and it's caused me to stay up WAY past my bedtime (as of this typing, I have to wake up in 5 hours and 44 minutes) in order to share it with you on my humble little blog.

"This is the story of a charming girl
She laughs out loud, sings off key and believes in taking chances
She is quick and curious and playful and strong
She lets her imagination run away with her
She has never been one to stick to convention
She is fond of daydreams that take her places
She can order a cocktail in six different languages
She feels that underrated is overrated"

Bon nuit, mes amies.

The willpower of a nun?

2011-05-20T17:05:00.000-07:00

I quit smoking. It's been six days. And while I've "quit" in the past, I have to say that this time feels different. I haven't missed it. Not once. I have a cough to envy all coughs, which I'm assuming is a combination of the cold that I'm nursing along with my little avioli starting to wiggle their proverbial toes now that there isn't smoke paralyzing them any longer. Which means stirring up all kinds of fun stuff. I'm sure it's going to get harder, especially after I stop coughing and feeling so icky. I'm bracing for that first moment where I want nothing more than a cigarette. I'm sure I will be white-knuckled whilst grabbing onto something painfully. I can totally do this.

My mother took us to Fleming's last night for my birthday dinner. I don't think I've eaten that well outside of Las Vegas. Cheese platter appetizer, amazing Riesling, filet mignon, side dishes to die for (who knew mac and cheese could be THAT good?), & creme brulée for dessert.

Mom also gave me two Sweet Valley books that I haven't read (again, I am a large child - I freely admit this) and 64GB iPad2 (WiFi + 3G). WHAT?! And Jared got me a Züca bag for my skate gear. It's incredible, and totally what I was hoping he'd get me! They spoil me rotten. And I am well aware of how absolutely frakking lucky I am to have the family that I do. Because even if I got nothing but a homemade card for my birthday, I don't think I would feel the impact of their love any less.

In other news, Bob Dot is leaving for D.C. for a month. So out to Redlands we go to catch a movie before he leaves tomorrow. Wishing him a safe journey!

And I finally get to see Bridesmaids. I've been frothing at the mouth to see this since I saw the preview a few months ago. Kristin Wiig owns me.

Happy weekend, all! Rosie says, "chillax."

smoking photo ©unknown sources
Bridesmaids photo ©Universal Pictures
Rosie © Moi

Update: 7-14-11

So the quitting thing didn't really happen. C'est la vie. Trying again after Roller Con. Because really, Vegas is probably the hardest place for me to NOT smoke. *sigh*

Fracture mechanics

2011-05-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's been almost two months since I've blogged - I think that's the longest since I started this thing...

The broken leg from April 17th (I made the Hall of Pain!) is on the mend. I had my cast put on Thursday, 4 weeks after the break and 2 weeks after surgery, only to have to get a new one put on today. Stupid sneaky hole in the bag that I used to wrap my foot on Saturday for my shower completely saturated the bottom of the cast. Gross. But the new one is actually a little better - I was able to bend my ankle at more of a right degree angle today, and the cast tech made it a little shorter. Win.

Derby skills testing is tonight, and I'm wishing all the freshies out there the best! Hopefully I'll be taking mine in another 6-8 months, but I'm not holding my breath. The most frustrating thing of this whole debacle is that I won't be able to get back on my [new] skates (did I mention I broke my leg 2 days after ordering new skates?!) until August at the earliest. Most likely September. We'll see how atrophied my leg is when this is all over. Cast for 4 weeks, walking cast for a minimum of 6 weeks after that.

My birthday party this past Saturday was incredible. Crystal came out and carted my crippled ass all over town for party supplies, and then decorated like a pro! Jared did all the heavy lifting and has just finished cleaning up as I type this. I am such a lucky girl to have such amazing people in my life.

My first wish was for a My Little Pony party - because everyone knows I'm a giant child - but to my dismay none of the stores had any MLP party stuff. So Justin Bieber it was. It was also the first party we've had here at Chateau Rivera since I've joined Prison City, and my derby sisters came to celebrate along with our other friends. Games were played, the playlist was ridiculously mixed (from Depeche Mode & David Bowie to Pitbull... and of course some JB to go with the theme) Guillermo the donkey drank too much, and my friends made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world - broken leg or not!

I start back to work tomorrow, working from home for the next 6 weeks. After that, hopefully I can drive as I have a lot of making up to do to my carpool buddy! If not, I will start going back into the office with her driving, and then will likely end up driving almost 3 months straight to make up for my time off. As much as I would love to not work, I need some structure in my day and that will force me to get back on a schedule. I'm starting to go a bit loony in the head being home alone all day with nothing but Netflix, Facebook and reading to fill my time.

So here's to the beginning of my 33rd year on this planet as of tomorrow. I'm counting my blessings, and wishing good things for all that I hold dear.

What's been taking up my time lately?

2011-03-20T21:41:00.000-07:00

I've joined a roller derby league, the Prison City Derby Dames! One of my best friends started training with a league up in northern California last summer (Go Boots Von Kapow!) and my sis-in-law (Bunny van Ruin) started a few months ago, also with PCDD. After hearing them talk about it, I decided to put aside all my excuses that I'd come up with when I first learned there were several local leagues around me and decided to hell with it. I'm doing this. We practice 3 nights a week, and that combined with my work schedule and spending as much time with Jared and friends isn't leaving much time left in the days for blogging. I'm going to have to find a way around that, because I really do love writing.

But in the mean time, at least you know why it's been so quiet on here lately.

And I won't be bouting any time soon. First is learning all the skills needed to be a successful player and an asset to the team. Second is passing the skills test. Then we can talk about actually bouting. I'm guessing it'll be the 2012 season at the earliest.

It's hard work, painful at times and has really taken me out of my comfort zone. But all the women are amazing and supportive, and push you to get off your ass and keep trying.

I'm loving it.

xoxo,
Darby O'Kill #45

Day Book

2011-02-25T00:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these.

Day Book for 02.24.11 (started before midnight, so that's what I'm calling it.)

Outside my Window...
It is crazy cold tonight. And apparently only getting colder over the next few days. The high for Saturday is 47?! Sweet! :)

I am thinking...
I would really like this perpetual headache to go away. Sinus infection, what did I ever do to you?

I am thankful for...
Paid Time Off. See above.

From the kitchen...
Fresh fruit and veggie juices today. But naughty take-out from Don Marcos for dinner. It's all about balance, right?

I am creating...
More like organizing - I finally cleaned out the cookbook cupboard in the kitchen and tossed those that I don't use and organized recipes that we've collected over the past few years into their own binder. (They are of course divided by sections according to dishes/main ingredients. There are tabs involved.) Oh, hi OCD.

I am wearing...
Red polka-dot pajamas.

I am reading...
Currently in between books. Trying to decide which to start next, from the dozen or so waiting to be devoured. I've been reading lots of magazine articles lately, the two most recent ones in this month's Vanity Fair. One on Mel Gibson that tries to come off as showing both sides of him (Crazy? Or just misunderstood?) but failing miserably. He's batshit crazy. The other on the making of Thelma & Louise (from script writing, to finding financing, to finding a director, to casting and filming.) That one was actually very entertaining. The Gibson one just made me want my 15 minutes back.

I am hoping...
That perhaps tomorrow will be the morning that I don't wake up with the feeling that the inside of my head is twice the size as the outside, for the first time this week.

I am hearing....
The new Adele album, 21

Around the house...
The dishwasher is humming

Few of my favorite things...
THIS and THIS

Therein lies the downside (upside?) of being cooped up all week off work and ill. Online shopping. At least they were inexpensive.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Mitchell's birthday tomorrow night at Taylor's and the season opener for Prison City Derby Dames on Saturday!

Here is a picture I am sharing with you..
Actually, you get two tonight.

First up: Why did all my strawberries today have this inside them?
What the heck is this?

And lastly, yesterday was the 23rd.

Support your local businesses

2011-02-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

I don't consume nearly enough veggies. So the other day I bought a juicer. And yes, it's the Jack Lalanne one. Which means buying way more fresh produce then I ever have in my life. Other than the artichokes and salad stuff I usually buy every week, I'm ashamed to say that my cart is sorely lacking in veggies upon leaving the store. Fruit, sure. I love fruit. But veggies?

*sigh*

Michelle mentioned seeing a farmers market just up the street from us on Foothill Blvd. We decided to check it out, and WOW. It's my new favorite place to shop.

Red Tomatoes Farmers Market is actually a more than just a place to buy locally grown fruits and vegetables. It's a Middle Eastern market that carries all number of spices, nuts & seeds, Halal meats, a large selection of olive oils, and all sorts of wonderful things. They even stock hookah supplies and a varied selection of tobaccos. The place smells of spices. The music sounds like something out of Bollywood (love it!) and the staff was very friendly, with the Muslim girls at the counter joking with Jared and I as we checked out.

For $19.49 I got:
3 large cucumbers
3 Chinese pears
2 lbs. Granny Smith apples
1 lb. organic Fuji apples
1 lb. carrots
1 head broccoli
1 pineapple
2 lbs. white grapes
2 large (gorgeous) tomatoes
4 kiwi
1 lb. fresh strawberries
1 lb. fresh stuffed olives (deli)
1 lb. fresh feta cheese (deli)

Let me put their prices into perspective for those that don't know. I usually spend $10 at the grocery store for a comparable amount of olives, and these were much fresher and larger. The $2.99/lb. fresh feta yielded over three times the amount I would get for that price at Albertson's. And although I didn't buy any artichokes this trip (I still have two in the fridge) they had these glorious, enormous, lush looking specimens there for $0.99 each. I pay upwards of three bucks a pop at the grocery store for what are usually much sorrier looking artichokes.

I can't wait to start tomorrow morning with a "green machine". It'll probably help me get over this stupid cold/sinus infection that much faster. For my local readers, if you haven't been I suggest you check them out. They also have a deli and restaurant within the market so if you're craving a fresh Falafel or Shawerma, they've got you covered.

photo by Jimmy D

January Gumbo

2011-01-17T17:56:00.000-08:00

As Jared just put on "How To Train Your Dragon", I find myself completely indifferent to this film. I don't have anything negative to say about it, and I'm sure it's very entertaining and well done, but I have absolutely zero interest in it. So instead, I choose to post a gumbo of the past few weeks, since I've been neglecting my blog.

And like a good gumbo, it's going to have a rather eclectic mix of topics thrown in. My normally Type-A brain seems to be on hiatus at the moment, and has no desire to organize the following into separate, coherent posts. My apologies in advance to my fellow Type-A's out there. To the rest of you, I'm sure you could care less.

Auld Lang Syne
We threw a NYE party this year at our place. It's one of the many things that can really reinforce how fortunate one is to have such amazing friends and family in their lives. To those of you who were able to make it out on that cold, cold night, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is a true blessing to be able to ring in a new year with you. To those who couldn't make it - you were missed.

And speaking of NYE, I'll be completely honest and tell you that up until recently, I detested the concept. I had always approached it from the viewpoint that one night does not make everything new. It's not a new start, it's not a time to make resolutions. If you want to make a new start, why wait until January 1st? Who picked this arbitrary day for such rebirth or reinvention? Puh-lease. If you want to make a change, make it NOW. If you want to start something new, start NOW. Waiting is simply an excuse to put something off that you're clearly not ready to do.

But after having a discussion with one of my best friends, she shared that she didn't view NYE in this way. Rather, it's a time to reflect on the past year, and celebrate the friendships that you've both made that year, and kept from previous years. And what an amazing way to look at it. I always appreciate those that bring a positive influence into my life, but why not use this "holiday" to actually celebrate it?! I'm ashamed to say that my first instinct towards NYE was such a negative, glass-half-empty viewpoint. And one of the many things I'm thankful for is the ability to change my perceptions, and for having the friends to help me do so.

Jared's 32nd birthday was also 5 days after New Year's, so we made it a NYE/birthday party. There was cake.

And speaking of Jared's birthday, while out to Lucille's with his sister's family, Miss Alyssa (our niece) was just as cute as ever. And she wore her skating shirt. Double-cute.

Rosie
She hasn't gotten a mention in a while, so I thought I'd throw a dash of her into my gumbo. She totally owns Jared.

Le Office
The storms of late December really threw a craptastic monkey wrench into my groove at work. Gone are the days of being totally caught up. I'm estimating that I should be back to normal and loving work by mid-February. *fingers crossed*

So proud of my sister!
My sister-in-law, Michelle, passed her State Board Exam on January 5, 2011. She is now a fully licensed esthetician! And I can tell you without bias, she is amazing at what she does. Especially brow shaping. She's currently in Diamond Bar, and will be moving to Long Beach this spring. Contact her here for an appointment.

Mmmmmm. Pumpkin facial.

Our First Hockey Game
Last week, Jared, Bob, Crystal, Matt and I went to see the Ontario Reign play the Alaska Aces at Citizens Business Bank Arena. THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH! Sure, it's minor league, and the stadium wasn't even half-full for this mid-week match-up, but I am still in shock over how much fun it was. Plus, they serve gluten-free beer there. Bonus.

Cinema Paradiso
Of the recent films I've seen in the theater, two stand out. If you haven't seen these yet, I strongly urge to you to get to the theater soon.

Wishing you a happy and fulfilling 2011. Thanks for reading.

Jack Frost nipping at your nose...

2010-12-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

It's getting nippy outside. Clouds overhead promise rain sometime soon. The leaves are still falling on the patio, making a glorious, colorful mess.

...Inspired by the lovely Eliza Go Lightly of which I share 3 of her top 5 favorites...

There's still so much to do this month, not the least of which includes trying to watch all our must-see Christmas movies. Because we love movies at Chateau Rivera. It's going to be close, folks.

So far, we're four in. With way too many to go. While decorating the tree, the inaugural film of the season has to be...

If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor. Easily my favorite Will Farrell film.

We can't get enough of Jimmy Stewart. But I had to watch Little House one day last week when I was working from home. Jared isn't really a fan.

My absolute favorite Christmas movie. Period.

And speaking of ones Jared doesn't care for, as I type this I'm watching a film that my mom took me to see in the theater when I was 7. Nostalgia commands me to watch this every year.

Which leaves, in no particular order...

Jared doesn't really care for One Magic Christmas, but I can't help it. It's another one that I grew up watching with my Mama, and it must be included, watched and respected. (Crystal knows what I'm talkin' 'bout.)

And that is four, yes FOUR versions of A Christmas Carol on the list. My favorites are the George C. Scott classic and Mickey's Christmas Carol. Jared grew up on the Muppet Christmas Carol, and who doesn't love Scrooged?!

Christmas tree is lit up, candles burning on the mantle and warm laundry to fold awaits me, while I wait for my hard workin' man to make his way home in the horrendous L.A. traffic. This month is passing by so quickly it seems. I wish it would slow down.

...and I think to myself, what a wonderful world...

2010-11-28T14:14:00.000-08:00

Things I am thankful for today:
1. Tai cooking us breakfast before he and Sarah had to head home to NorCal.
2. Jared watching his Eagles game next to me on the sofa.
3. This chilly, chilly weather.
4. The freedom to turn the heat up as high as I want.
5. Cup of Joe for a Joe

Things I am thankful for this holiday weekend:
1. My aunt's cooking.
2. Disneyland on Black Friday instead of shopping with good friends.
3. "Believe in Holiday Magic" fireworks
4. B-Tower reserved seating for "Fantasmic!"
5. www.moxirollerskates.com
6. Game night with family and friends.
7. Christmas music.

Things I am thankful for this year:
1. Finding a job that I love.
2. Good health.
3. The luxury of being able to take vacations.
4. Remember where I came from.
5. Seeing clearly where I'm going.

Things I am thankful for in this lifetime:
1. Family
2. Mistakes and the lessons they teach when we pick ourselves back up.
3. The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

...I'm going down by the river where it's warm and green...

2010-11-07T21:26:00.000-08:00

One of many definitions, Home: n. a place where something flourishes, is most typically found, or from which it originates.

Our trip to New Orleans was incredible. But more on that later. After flying in on our anniversary and having a lovely dinner in Jackson Square at Cafe Pontalba, we turned in at a reasonable hour so that we could get up early for the 2 hour drive to Hattiesburg the next morning. The Hotel Provencal was absolutely charming.

Driving across Lake Pontchartrain we saw the sun rise as we headed into the green-ness of Mississippi.

The first stop was St. Thomas for the 10:15 mass with Fr. Tommy. It's been 20 years since I've seen him, but he's still funny, charming, and has his gorgeous Irish accent just as strong as ever. He's the kind of priest who tells jokes during his sermon. A pleasant surprise came at the beginning when they were making the introductions as to who the participants of the mass were... "so and so's family are the gift bearers, ... Christina Moreland is the organist..."

O.o WHAT?!?!

Christina was my piano teacher from the time I was four until we moved to California. She was also one of my mother's best friends, and she and her husband along with another couple helped me through one of the most difficult days of my life. Christmas Day, 1989. But that's a story for another time...

After mass I went up to Christina to say hello. As soon as she recognized me, she gave me a huge, warm hug, and would not let go of my hand for the next 20 minutes. After talking with her and her husband, Wilbur, we spoke with Fr. Tommy who also remembered me. I asked that he bless my rosary that I bought in Ireland during our 2007 trip, which I had brought with me for that sole purpose. We were also Shanghaied into going to lunch at The Englert's home, something they did every Sunday after church. The Englert's are the other family that helped me that Christmas Day, almost 21 years ago. Southern cooking, a warm welcome and fellowship. It was an amazing afternoon.

We then spent the rest of the day with my dear friend, Laura, her lovely daughter, Hannah and her friend Chrissy. Going through old photo albums at her parent's house and visiting with old friends, it was a glorious Sunday that I will always remember. Unfortunately, she had to work early the next morning, and Hannah had school, so they left Hattiesburg at 8:30 for the 2 hours drive home to Jackson. We spent the night at her parent's house that night, Jared and I sleeping in the bed that Laura and I used to sleep in countless times as children. Talking, laughing, dreaming. The house smells, sounds and looked just as it does in my fuzzy memory.

The next morning, Charles and Martha Ann cooked us a delicious breakfast of eggs, grits, sausage and toast. Nothing too fancy, and it was perfect. After hugs and well wishes, we headed off so that I could show Jared around my childhood hometown.

My elementary school

A detour down to the Gulf Coast, we saw the remnants of the devastation of Katrina in the new homes built along the shore with the sporadic empty lots of homes that were never resurrected. I took Jared to Beauvoir, the last home of Jefferson Davis and I remember going there on a 5th grade field trip. Spanish moss, old oak trees, Antebellum architecture and a confederate cemetery. So much history there. Down the road a spell we stopped at Fr. Pat's house for a short visit. I hadn't seen him since 1988, but he was one of the priests at my baptism and gave me my first communion. Facebook enabled us to get back in touch and he was eager to visit and catch up. Another sweet homecoming memory added to all the others I seemed to be collecting on this trip.

Once back in New Orleans, we still had 4 days to explore. I showed Jared my favorite spots. He tried new foods. We had the obligatory Hurricanes and Mint Juleps at Pat O'Brien's. We also found a bar called Boondock Saints and have a spotty memory of Wednesday night from both on and off Bourbon Street. Jamie at Boondock Saints is our new favorite bartender. She even bought us a couple of rounds and did Irish Car-Bombs with us. Their jukebox ruled, too.

And let me tell you about the tours! Haunted History Tours offers several different tours, but we took a total of three: The Garden District & Lafayette Cemetery tour on Tuesday morning with Katie, the sweet-as-pie guide. The New Orleans Ghost Tour with Ernie on Tuesday night (and on which our hotel was one of the stops!). And because Ernie was SO great, we took his New Orleans Cemetery Tour of the St. Louis Cemetery No. 1, touted as New Orleans' oldest city of the dead.

Cafe du Monde for chicory coffee and beignets was a must on my list. No one makes beignets as well as they do.

Lunches and dinners in restaurants with all their doors and windows open let you hear and see all that the French Quarter has to offer. Music everywhere, street performers and artists, and a history that you can feel as you walk through the narrow streets. Laugh if you will as it may sound trite, but New Orleans has always held a kind of magic for me. Something in the air, something about its people and history, or perhaps a combination of all that is seen and unseen. City of my birth and city of my heart, there is no place like it in the world. I'm so glad that I got to share this with Jared. And even more glad that he felt the same way about it. Neither of us wanted to leave.

Day.06.Your.Beliefs

2010-10-13T18:10:00.000-07:00

I'm so behind on these. But I have a few moments so I'll knock another one out. For brevity, I'll only list the first 10 beliefs that come to mind. I don't know how many people actually read this, but I find writing relaxing.

Which leads me to belief #1: Sometimes you need to do things for yourself and no one else. Call it a mental health day, me-time, girls'- (or boys'-) night out, or any other of the slew of self-indulgent things we as human beings have invented. The point is, take care of yourself.

Belief #2: It's ok to put your iPod on shuffle and then skip songs until you find exactly what you didn't know you wanted to hear. Jared HATES it when I do this. Lucky for me, my carpool buddy doesn't - and is severely guilty of this behavior, too.

Belief #3: Speak plainly. Sure, the occasional white lie is a necessary evil of life (i.e. small talk with a stranger or vague acquaintance so as to avoid awkwardness) but the majority of the time I make a concerted effort to tell the truth. Lying to save face, spare feelings (don't be mean for meanness' sake, though), and when giving advice (when requested) - the truth is so much better. Even if it hurts.

Belief #4: Choose your friends wisely. No one is perfect, but choose friends who have something to offer you in return for your friendship. Don't be friends with someone who disrespects you, belittles you, says cruel things to you or doesn't make time for you when it's really important. We all have gifts to offer. Share them.

Belief #5: Marriage really shouldn't be all that much work, if any. I believe if you marry your best friend (see #4) who is also someone who you want to make sexy-time with... well, it's a pretty simple equation. Never stop "dating" your spouse.

Belief #6: I believe that "God" or whatever higher power there is, loves the gays. I will politely listen to you if you believe differently because I really want to understand you, but I can pretty much bet my life on the fact that you will not change my mind on this. Ever.

Belief #7: Therapy is a good thing. I can't understand the belief that it's nonsense, hooey, or bunk. Open up to yourself. In this day and age we all have baggage of some sort. Unpack it.

Belief #8: Cheese.

Belief #9: It's all about the little things. And the big ones.

Belief #10: Nostalgia is good. Never forget where you came from. Relive little moments over and over - in your mind or in reality - and revel in the happy, the sad and the in-between memories that helped make you who you are today. Learn from them, evolve.

***

If you read this, give me your random 10 in the comments below - I want to know. Or if you're pressed for time, I'll take your first 3 that come to mind.

© Adam Gault

With some help from Johnny Walker Red

2010-10-06T23:27:00.000-07:00

I'm watching Good Will Hunting for the second time in 48 hours. The first was when I was overcome with a bout of insomnia on Monday night and I watched it on Netflix on my phone while in bed with ear buds. Jared slept, of course.

Then this evening it was on cable and I decided to watch it again. I remember seeing this in the theater multiple times, and loving everything about it. I was so happy that the screenplay won the Academy Award for that year. And I can't believe "Miss Misery" lost to "My Heart Will Go On" for best song. Robbed, I tell you!

We saw The Town last weekend, which lived up to all the hype in my opinion. Incredible writing, casting, acting... People may never forgive Ben Affleck for Gigli, but damn if he can't write an excellent screenplay.

And it makes me want to go to Southie.

But first, New Orleans and my hometown. 17 days and counting till I'm breathing in the damp, heavy air of the Crescent City. 18 days and counting until I get to see my dearest childhood friend. Soon. So soon.

Go, sit upon the lofty hill,
And turn your eyes around,
Where waving woods and waters wild
Do hymn an autumn sound.
The summer sun is faint on them --
The summer flowers depart --
Sit still -- as all transform'd to stone,
Except your musing heart.

~from The Autumn by E.B. Browning

© Buena Vista Images

Day.05.Your.Best.Friend

2010-09-18T00:53:00.000-07:00

What are we, school children? "Best" friend implies that there is one better than all others. In my reality I choose to surround myself with a kaleidoscope of souls that offer me so many different amazing gifts, each of them unique.

We are none of us perfect, least of all me. But I like to think that when I extend my hand in friendship that it is considered a gift - that it has some value like that which I get from each of my "best" friends.

This is not a popularity contest. So rather, I will tell you what I love about each of my nearest and dearest. And I hope that I offer them what they give so freely to me.

~~~

Round my hometown, memories are fresh
Round my hometown, ooh, the people I've met
Are the wonders of my world
Are the wonders of my world...

~~~
- We are so in tune, it's ridiculous. You put up with my moods and love me for my gumption. You make me feel like the most loved person in the 'verse. I always thought I was looking for my "Missing Piece" but as the great Shel Silverstein pointed out, it is much better to roll along with a companion as two whole pieces rather than complete each other. (It also doesn't hurt that sex with you rules.)

- A partner in crime during my formative years, you are a strong woman with the world opening up ahead. Good things are going to come to you because you deserve them. Milestones reached, and more to come, I watch you with all the hope in the world.

- I have known you almost all my life. And though months (and in a few cases, years) can go by without speaking, you are always a thought away. I love how we fall into the ease of our friendship when we reconnect. 32 years have passed and I remember laughing like children as if it were yesterday. My childhood was a bit rough, but you could always make me smile. I'm looking forward to seeing your smile again in the very near future. 2000 miles... The distance will be closed soon. So soon.

- I met you a decade ago at the happiest job on earth. You supported me through one of the biggest decisions of my life. I was there when you struggled with becoming the amazing person you were afraid to be. And look who you are now! My heart swells when I think of what you've accomplished and how truly rich your life is. We don't see each other as often as I would like, but I know I can still run to you for shelter if, heaven forbid, the need should arise. The fact that I don't forsee that happening for either of us for the rest of our days doesn't change the fact that I know it to be a fundamental truth.

- You, my dears (for there are two of you), defy the notion that exes cannot be friends. I love that we're still in each others' lives after all these years.

- I love being an only child... But to be able to share conversations, thoughts, opinions and advice with you make me a lucky girl, indeed. Sassy and blunt, you helped me discover things about myself that I'd forgotten. Thank you.

- You make me feel young when I think I'm getting old. You make me laugh, and love me for all of the silly and uncool things that I adore. I can tell you anything, and you are the cutest little devil that dances on my shoulder, whispering in my ear.

- I once asked you why you were friends with me, to which you replied, "because you're not afraid to tell someone to f*** off." You make me feel like a warrior-woman. You have a spine of steel and convictions to boot. Your passion for logic and knowledge are surpassed only by your ability to love.

- How many people grow up to be best friends with the person who raised them? Who cheered-on, guided, scolded, grounded, fought with, confided in and who wiped the tears from the cheeks of youth away? I know at least one who did.

A lucky girl, indeed.

"If you are a dreamer come in
If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hoper, a pray-er, a magic-bean-buyer
If you're a pretender come sit by my fire
For we have some flax golden tales to spin
Come in!
Come in!"
— Shel Silverstein

Photo © Fiona McLeod

Day.04.Your.Definition.Of.Love

2010-09-09T23:29:00.000-07:00

I have not been looking forward to this day's meme.

Love.

It's such a broad term, isn't it? Go to Wikipedia and the article is quite long, going into historical context and different cultures' definitions of love. Romantic love, the love between parent and child, the love of your friends and family, the love of bad habits that you know you shouldn't love... the list is endless.

Definitions aside, love is such a subjective concept to us as humans; each specific and slightly different to a person because we see the world through our own filters. Filters created from our childhood and our experiences. Filters that start, grow, change and die out at any given moment. And while I will attempt to articulate my definition of love, I do so with this caveat: I can only describe the tip of the proverbial iceberg, as I perceive it. Because the more I think about it the longer my definition gets. And I do have to sleep at some point. Not to mention that I am taking into account your valuable time, dear reader. In fact, if you've read this far, I'm grateful considering I haven't really gotten to the point after two paragraphs. I'm stalling.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry" is one of the most moronic phrases I've ever heard. It's made me decide to never watch the film "Love Story" just because I've heard that the phrase is used somewhere in the movie, and they're dead serious. If I'm wrong, someone set me straight - I certainly don't want to be missing out on it if it's actually really good.

I believe the opposite. Because we all make mistakes (be they great or small) and if I love you and have wronged you in any way, I should absolutely apologize for causing hurt or pain. This is a lesson learned by the time you're in kindergarten, for god's sake. You don't push people down on the playground. If you do, you say you're sorry.

I believe that love is spoken and unspoken. I believe you need to hear it and feel it, because it's incomplete if one is done without the other.

My sister-in-law once told me "honesty without compassion is cruel" and the simplicity of this statement speaks volumes to me. Because love is honest. What good are you doing someone you love by withholding a truth from them because it's not what they want to hear? But it's a delicate art to deliver a truth with compassion. One that I'm am still working on and get right some of the time, and horribly wrong at others. And that's why love actually DOES mean saying you're sorry. Not sorry for telling the truth, but sorry that while you had the best of intentions, your delivery may have been off.

I believe that love is earned. The concept of unconditional love is one that I have a hard time getting my head around. I don't love you for the simple fact that you're my family or friend. I don't love you because society says I'm supposed to. Love is a relationship, be it with a person, animal, place, object or idea. True love is healthy. It should be symbiotic.

I believe we must love ourselves before we can truly love others. I think the love of self is grossly overlooked. How can we be expected to have a symbiotic relationship with the giving and receiving of love without knowing how to give it to ourselves first? And that's no easy thing to do. We are all riddled with doubt of some kind. Am I smart enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I funny enough? Am I worthy?

I believe that we as human beings confuse love with other things like insecurity or a need for attention. Some of us use love to justify staying in an abusive relationship, being taken for granted, or because we pity something or someone. If we didn't there wouldn't be such a market for self-help books and Dr. Laura.

I believe that love is tolerant. We none of us are perfect. Love helps us put up with the annoying habits and idiosyncrasies of those we hold dear. Jared tolerates my Type-A need to organize things, my over-analysis of insignificant things that really have no bearing on what's really important, my tendency to cry at sappy commercials, and my unnatural obsession with Disneyland. He does this because he loves me. Or perhaps it's some of why he loves me.

I believe.

photo © Sophie Blackall

Day.03.Your.Parents

2010-09-04T17:09:00.000-07:00

He:
Smart.
Manipulative.
Fancies himself a philosopher.
Delusional.
Possibly schizophrenic.
A shadow that used to haunt my dreams regularly, and now only sporadically.
No longer holds any power over me.

She:
Loving.
Supportive.
Successful.
Stronger than she thinks.
Funnier than she thinks.
Prettier than she thinks.

I liked it when she held me. But as evidenced by the expression on my face, he took the picture.

"Golden dreams were shiny days..."

2010-08-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

As of right this moment, September is 1 hour and 22 minutes away. And while it's going to warm up again for the next several days, so begins my favorite time of year. If the month ends in -ber, I'm in seasonal heaven. Even with the heat, the anticipation of apple cider, pumpkin patches and Oak Glen dance in my head. What will this year's Halloween bring? Silly or epic costumes?! Thanksgiving around the table with my family, and tucked in on the sofa with my love and our Snuggies while listening to Nat King Cole singing Christmas songs, or freezing our tushes off standing on Main St. U.S.A. watching the "snow" fall.

I.
Can't.
Wait.

Day 3 meme to come soon.

Day.02.Your.First.Love?

2010-08-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

What a loaded question. "Love" is such an open-ended thing.

Would that be Will? The boy in my kindergarten class who I used to chase around the schoolyard and tell him I loved him only to be brutally rebuffed? Cooties, I tell you. Nasty buggers.

Would it be my first "going together" boyfriend in the first grade? Jonathon Smith, I'm looking at you. Or Stephen Thomas in the second? He was in third grade at the time, so I guess that makes him my first older man.

Or my first "real" boyfriend when I was 15? I still remember that night that I was babysitting and you came over to watch a movie with me after the little guy had gone to bed. We thought the parents came home early and you darted out the back door so I wouldn't get in trouble. When it turned out that it wasn't them and I came out to the backyard to find you, you gave me my first real kiss under a full moon.

Was it when I learned to love myself? Or when I met my husband for the first time when I wasn't even looking for him?

All of these are first loves. Varying shades of the same color, and all necessary to paint my life's picture.

***

The heart asks pleasure first,
and then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
that deaden suffering;

And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
the will of its Inquisitor;
The liberty to die.

~Emily Dickinson

Photo © The Palma Collection

Day.01.Introduce.Yourself

2010-08-25T23:32:00.000-07:00

A little while ago a friend on livejournal posted this meme and has been faithfully working on hers. Her writing style is incredible. I've promised myself that while I can't guarantee that I'll do each day in a timely fashion, I will complete it and I will do so with honesty. Here's the outline:

Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – Your definition of love
Day 05 – Your best friend
Day 06 – Your beliefs
Day 07 – What’s in your bag
Day 08 – Your favorite birthday
Day 09 – Something that upsets you
Day 10 – Something that makes you feel better
Day 11 – Something that makes you cry
Day 12 – Your fears
Day 13 – Your favorite place
Day 14 – Something that you miss
Day 15 – Your aspirations

********************************

Day 01 - Introduce Yourself

Hello, my name is Erin Rivera. I love my name. I used to hate my first name as a child, and even took to being called Katie in the first grade, instead (taken from my middle name, Katleen). But now I love it. It's not a very popular name for new babies today, but according to google it was the 21st most popular name in the year of my birth, and I've known quite a few Erins growing up. Being adopted, I never really embraced my Irish heritage until maybe the last 10 years. Now it's just oozing out of my pores, my soul and my dyed red hair.

I love my last name even more. My maiden name was Sharkey, and I grew to hate it because of the "father" that gave it to me. But that became a double-edged sword when I worked for Disneyland. I still remember my first guest-control shift on Fantasmic! when the lead, Shep, had his roster for C-Section and called me Sharkey from the get-go. He thought it was rad. It stuck. And since I have so many fond memories of working for the Mouse in college, I didn't hate it so much after that.

But my married last name is part of my soul, now. I went from being named after my father, who has sent me through quite a spectrum of emotions; beginning with fear and progressing thorough loathing, fear, fear, anger, fear, contempt, fear, fear, fear, desperation, avoidance, fear, and somehow now has morphed into a combination of pity, acceptance, forgiveness, placidity, and dare I say, peace? To being named by a man who is honorable, loving, strong and tender. And it was never a question as to whether I would take Jared's name or not. I don't view it as losing my own identity. It's a marker on the map that is my journey. It means something.

Personality traits: A true Taurus, I am stubborn, loyal, good with money, self-indulgent, possessive, relatively inflexible, and persistent. If you have met me, you probably know me. By that I mean I put my honest opinions forward and will tell it like it is, sometimes to my detriment (or yours). But unless I've decided to spare your feelings and/or I've determined it's not worth the effort, you will always know where you stand with me. I do not have a poker face. Unless, of course, I am playing poker. Then there's a good chance I will take your money.

I hate my body. But I'm working on it.

I was born in New Orleans, adopted at 2 months old in Gulfport, and raised in Hattiesburg for 12 years. My birth-mother was only 16, but she was Catholic. I only know that her first name is Suzanne because the social worker let it slip to my parents one day.

I have a good relationship with my Mama.

My favorite toys growing up were My Little Pony and Lego.

I am a white collar slave by day, working for The Man. By night I am a dancer, a dreamer, a drinker, a classy dame and a tawdry girl from the Deep South. But no, I do not believe The South Will Rise Again. The War of Northern Aggression is long over, and I've made my peace with that. I am also sarcastic. Frequently.

I love music ranging from The Cure to Depeche Mode to VNV Nation to Billie Holiday to Johnny Cash to Hall & Oates to Jay-Z to New Kids On The Block. I love cheesy pop music, industrial, Celtic, 80s and Doo-Wop. I fully recognize both my good and poor taste in music, and I will not apologize for downloading Justin Bieber's album because he reminds me of when I was 11 and obsessed with NKOTB. I also strongly dislike The Beatles. Sue me.

I have never felt any tugging at my heart strings from my uterus. I have no desire to be a mother. Most women do not understand that about me, and that's ok. I don't understand the cosmic pull of motherhood for them. But I sure as hell respect them for it. It's a tough job that I'm told is worth all the toil when they see their child smile. I do, however, feel a tug at my heart when I hear my cat meow.

I am a work in progress. I am continually evolving. I am incandescently happy with the path that my life has taken, and I look forward to what my next 32 years will bring.

(Mississippi Queen photo credit by poetwarrior2003)

"You could say this was an independent love song..."

2010-08-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

When I became single in 2002 and lived alone for the first time, I'll be honest... I hated it at first. From the quiet apartment to a strange noise outside, my ears heard everything, including the silence.

But after a few weeks (because it seems that's about the time it takes for most anything to become routine) my feelings started to change. I started to LOVE it. Coming home from work to a quiet apartment was a gift. I learned to be alone with myself. Oh sure, I went out on the weekends, and even some weeknights which caused me to drag my exhausted carcass into work the following morning, but for the most part I spent my time alone.

It was there that I became ok with being single. I took myself to nice restaurants alone, and always got a strange look from the host or hostess when I said "one, please." My favorite time was when I went to Catal at Downtown Disney solo. The whole process of driving into the parking structure at Disneyland with no intention of meeting any there, to walking to the tram stop by myself, to walking through Downtown alone... I sat for over an hour and a half eating 3 courses of yummy food and watching the people walking by below the balcony I was sitting on. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

After several months, my best friend Sarah moved back down from Northern California and I had a roommate. But she was still gone Monday through Friday for her work as a teacher/counselor in the mountains, so nothing much changed during the week.

9 months after first living alone, is when I met Jared. I was not looking to meet anyone. I was finally consistently comfortable with being alone with myself, so of course that's when it happened. Since then, life pretty much turned out the way I'd envisioned since I was little - happy, exciting at times, quiet at times, loved. I wouldn't trade what I have for anything in the universe.

***

I believe that part of what makes my happiness whole, and why it worked out the way it did, is because I became okay with being alone. Sure, there are still aspects of myself that I'm not wild about - my tendencies to worry, my weight - but I'm ok with that too. If things were absolutely perfect, what's the point? Shouldn't we always be moving forward? Always have something to work on? Even now, I'm seeing to a therapist to help me overcome some residual childhood trauma. So original, I know. :)

You may think me a hypocrite for touting the joys of being alone, considering that I'm married to a man I adore. If so, you're missing my point.

All I'm saying is love yourself first. Love your strengths, your weaknesses, your flaws and your gifts. Then share that with others.

My brother-in-law found this video and posted it on Facebook this morning. I hope you enjoy.

Link:
How To Be Alone - A video by Andrea Dorfman and Tanya Davis

My favorite of all of Emily's...

2010-07-28T23:56:00.000-07:00

If you were coming in the fall,
I'd brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year,
I'd wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed,
I'd count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemens land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I'd toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time's uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.

~Emily Dickinson

Sonnett XVII, Pablo Neruda

2010-07-17T00:04:00.000-07:00

This was a reading at our wedding. And I'm feeling mushy tonight.

I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

"If I was king for just one day"

2010-07-09T15:03:00.000-07:00

Anyone remember this movie? It bears re-watching. And if you've never seen it, it's I think it's worth an hour and forty minutes of your life. I can't believe this movie was released 24 years ago. It makes me feel old. But happy.

Maggie: "Where are you going?"
Lucas: "To the dance."
Maggie: "By yourself?"
Lucas: "Hey, I'm a party animal."

Happy weekend, friends.

"...now we're all grown up and we need so much..."

2010-06-29T02:03:00.000-07:00

Epic. I was absolutely blown away. 2010 is the 20th anniversary of Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde and to commemorate the occasion, they did a tour around the U.S. (16 shows to be exact) and we caught the final show in Hollywood this evening. Johnette belted out 20 songs. She sings like a fired-up Seraphim, a righteous and sinful dichotomy that just makes me envision her with an invisible, dirty halo over her head. To say she took my breath away is both too cliched for one such as her, and inaccurate. Song after song, she knocked the wind out of me.

Now Jared is tucked in for his pittance of 4 hours of sleep before he has to work another 10 hour day tomorrow, and I'm so god-damned wired I can't NOT write about it.

I could give you some background on the band, but what's the point when you can just wikipedia it? But what the band means to me... that's a story that I can tell.

I could say it started in my Psyc 101 class during my first semester of college at Crafton when I met Todd. Todd was about 10 years older than me, didn't talk to me like the dumb, naive 18 year old kid that I was, and was my first gay friend. He also helped me find a job at Faire where I met one of my best friends. His favorite band was Concrete Blonde, but other than "Joey" I didn't know a single song. And so he educated me.

Flash a little forward to a freezing, rainy day in Oklahoma, emotions and thoughts going all willy-nilly in my brain. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Or later in Cameron's VW Rabbit, engine turned off, listening to a live, acoustic version of "Tomorrow Wendy" and thinking about how much I would miss my friend when he went back to school that fall.

But the biggest of all - sitting on a bench along the Mississippi River in New Orleans on July 4, 2002 next to my dear Garrett, contemplating my life and choices. Sitting on that bench in the city of my birth, the humidity almost choking me, I felt a freedom that was unwelcome but so necessary. I returned home to California 4 days later and had to do one of the hardest things I've ever done... Break the unsuspecting heart of a good man, all because I had grown and changed over the past 4 years and outgrew him, just like Christopher Robin and Pooh. And like an idiot, I didn't realize it until I took a step away and really examined the situation. My heart still hurts for the pain I caused, and I wish I could have learned those life-lessons without the fallout piercing an innocent bystander with my awful shrapnel. But my life was definitely meant to go down a different path than his, and I hope that in the end he understands that he really is better off. And yes, I gave the ring back.

Of course I gave the ring back.

"I've got the ways and means, to New Orleans,
I'm going down by the river where it's warm and green,
I'm gonna have a drink,
and walk around,
I've got a lot to think about..."

The Setlist: [20 songs for 20 years]
Bloodletting (The Vampire Song)
Joey
I Don't Need a Hero
Days and Days
Lullaby
Scene of a Perfect Crime
Ghost of a Texas Ladies' Man
Someday?
Everybody Knows (a Leonard Cohen cover)
Caroline
When I Was a Fool
God is a Bullet
Run Run Run
Little Wing (a Jimi Hendrix cover)
Heal It Up
Your Haunted Head

Encore one:
Mexican Moon
Happy Birthday
Tomorrow Wendy

Encore two:
Sill In Hollywood

...and I lost my heart to a Galway girl

2010-06-19T18:30:00.000-07:00

Such a bummer that Jared had to work today. He'd already worked a 50 hour week and then a Saturday on top of it? *insert sad-face here*

So mom and I headed to the Irish Fair in Irvine, just the two of us. Although on the warmer side of comfortable, we had a grand time walking around listening to several bands playing, a Celtic harp show, pipers and drummers and all things Irish. I finally found the sticker for my car (that I've been looking for online for over a year, to no avail), bought some imported Irish tea, a cheap penny whistle to play with, and some CDs of the Fenians, who sound quite a bit like Flogging Molly. <3I can't wait for next year.

pomp and circumstance

2010-06-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Jared's best friend, Mark, who is graduating from UCSD today! He's gonna be Indiana Jones when he grows up.

Dan and Julie hosted a surprise party for him yesterday at their lovely home in Murrieta. Carne Asada for all!

it's business time

2010-06-10T16:13:00.000-07:00

Last Monday evening (Labor Day) I was taking a nice, hot shower. Unbeknownst to me, Jared was lighting a candle in the bedroom and tidying the house. As I was turning off the water, the smoke alarm started shrieking it's annoying but pertinent cry. Now, the darn thing is so sensitive, I figured maybe Jared had made popcorn or something and set it off. But as I'm toweling off, the thing is being damn persistent.

I call out, "Jared... is something burning?"
To which he replied, "Not anymore..."

o.O HUH?!

I open the bathroom door to the upstairs landing and see a thick cloud of white smoke from the ceiling down to just above eye-level. *cough* *cough*

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, what happened?!"
"The candle caught your bra and new black dress on fire."
"Ah. WHAT?!"
"I lit the candle on the dresser and tossed your bra on the dresser on top of your black dress to get it off the bed, then went downstairs to finish tidying the kitchen. I smelled smoke and ran back up and found it on fire. I must've tossed it too close to the candle. I smothered it out on the carpet and got the fire extinguisher from the kitchen and blasted the shit out of it. Oh, and the dress and stuff was still smoldering, so I threw it out the window onto the patio. Speaking of which, it's still smoking. I'm going to take the fire extinguisher downstairs..."

At this point, I can't decide if I'm pissed, upset or amused. After about 3 minutes, thought, I see the awesomeness of the situation. New paint, new carpet, new bed, new dresser... And even though I work for Tower Insurance Companies, I have to give credit where credit is due: State Farm rules.

And that's how we do sexy-time at Chateau Rivera.

Staying at the Hilton last week got really old, really quickly. But repairs began last Thursday and once they had the bedroom demo done, the smoke smell was gone and we came home. We could have stayed at the Hilton until repairs were done, but we missed the cat, and were sick of eating out. The Aero Bed is surprisingly comfortable.

They're in the middle of painting the downstairs right now, the carpet goes in next Wednesday and the new furniture was just delivered about 20 minutes ago. No complaints here.

"I love the smell of fresh paint in the morning."

Daybook 05.23.10

2010-05-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

Outside my Window...
It's 62 degrees and lovely. A perfect Spring evening.

I am thinking...
I'm so happy that with Jared's help, it only took 20 minutes to clean up the birthday party.

I am thankful for...
Amazing friends who celebrated with me last night.

From the kitchen...
Tai's amazing breakfast this morning. It's turning into a habit - every time he and Sarah come down for a visit, he cooks us tasty breakfast vittles on Sunday.

I am creating...
My mental to-do list for the week.

I am wearing...
Jeans and a tee. I'm fancy.

I am reading...
Just finished the 9th Sookie Stackhouse book, but Amazon Kindle doesn't have the new one available for download yet. So I think I'll pick up where I left off on the Dresden series. Book 3, I believe.

I am hoping...
That I'm able to get a handle on what I didn't get accomplished last week at work, tout de suite.

I am hearing....
Stephen Fry guest starring on Bones. I heart him.

Around the house...
All quiet on the Western front.

Few of my favorite things...
I received lovely gifts last night! I am loving the silver bird, the black alpaca scarf and the My Little Pony thermos.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Nothing very exciting planned. HOA meeting on Thursday. We'll see what surprises the week has in store.

Here is a photo I am sharing with you...
Love my birthday gift from Jared. I finally got my own Kershaw. Laser engraved with "Prettyhead."

...but I got cat class, and I got cat style.

2010-05-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

Painting the roses red

2010-05-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

I had a fab time with Mom in Santa Barbara last week for an early birthday getaway. My favorite pub, a wine tour, delish food and massages and facials rounded out a lovely 3 night jaunt.

After a minor snafu with the cottage (Edison turned off the power on the side that the cottages were located for the first day we were there, but The Cheshire Cat was very accommodating, giving me the room I shared with Jared last year and putting Mom in the Queen of Hearts room.) Then they moved our things for us into the Prestbury cottage while we were on our wine tour the next day. I cannot recommend this B&B enough. Excellent customer service, lovely accommodations and absolutely beautiful property.

The Grapevine wine tour picked us up at the B&B (yay to not having to drive) and we went to 4 wineries and an olive farm. 6 bottles of wine and 2 bottles of olive oil later, we returned sloshy, happy and tired.

The last day was spent lounging in the living room watching season one of The Mentalist, having in room massages/facials, and yummy Chinese delivery for dinner.

Thanks, Mom!

...and I would walk 500 miles

2010-05-10T21:35:00.000-07:00

It's funny when life is too busy to blog. Busy with wonderful things like family, friends, a job that I actually appreciate and enjoy, and the like. Which is exactly when one should be blogging, no? About the happy things? Many moons ago when I used livejournal, it seemed like I only blogged when I had something to gripe about or lament. No more, I say!

Benny & Joon is on. My inner 9th grader is swooning right about now.

A couple of weeks ago Michelle and I took our niece to Disneyland to celebrate her 3rd birthday (a bit early - it's way too hot for a full day at Disneyland in July!) She's definitely two... cranky one minute and mind-numbingly cute the next.

I had an absolutely fantastic visit with my sister last Thursday evening. Insightful and eye-opening. It was seriously one of the best visits I've had with her, ever. I'm going to leave it at that.

Last weekend was spent with excellent friends that I am so fortunate to have. Derek came down from San Francisco and goofy fun was had with Jared, Crystal and Bob. My rendition of Prince's "Let's Go Crazy" likely left much to be desired at karaoke, but I had an awesome time nonetheless. And NO, Crystal, I am never singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" with you ever again. But I'll sing "Talk Dirty to Me" with you any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.

Mother's Day was peaceful, with the Mama coming over for my home-cooked vittles. The fillets came out perfectly, and she loved the Coach sunglasses I gave her to replace the ones she lost. Now she feels ready for our little Santa Barbara trip later this week.

And my dear Garrett is departing for Florida shortly for a six month excursion for his work. As he works for Northrop Grumman and will be near Cape Canaveral, I know nothing about the specifics of his assignment as I'm sure it's defense related and oh-so-hush-hush. The last time he took a trip like this, it was 2002 and the destination was Podunk, Mississippi. I met him to celebrate his birthday in New Orleans that July and my life changed forever. He helped me through one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make, and I am where I am today in part because of his love and support. So farewell, my friend. Don't spend too much time at Disney World... you have a job to do. See you soon.

Back in the day

And I shall miss my darling husband while I'm away for 3 nights with Mom. But I am looking forward to the wine tour, spa appointments and conversations to be had. More to come when I return, and I'm sure more photos than anyone but me really cares to see. But that won't stop me. You've been warned.

xoxo

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you.

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

Daybook 04.25.10

2010-04-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

Outside my Window...
It's 72 degrees and breezy. Spring is definitely here.

I am thinking...
I should start some laundry so I don't have to do it tomorrow.

I am thankful for...
My husband, my friends, karaoke, Bushmills, Netflix, Disneyland and my job.

From the kitchen...
The sounds of crickets chirping due to lack of cooking today. Mmmm. Pizza.

I am creating...
Just finished a letter to accompany the 2010 budget for our homeowners association. We've worked our tushes off to get this place into better shape and it's finally paying off. Hopefully the homeowners will quit their uninformed bitching. But not likely. Ingrates.

I am wearing...
Black tank and black yoga pants. But can I really call them yoga pants if I never do yoga?

I am reading...
Club Dead (the third Sookie Stackhouse book).

I am hoping...
That Disneyland tomorrow with my sisters and niece is as fun as I anticipate it will be.

I am hearing....
A commercial from the St. Lucia travel board. Meh, a tropical vacation is about the last thing on my wish list of vacations.

Around the house...
A lazy cat and Annie's massage table that she's picking up this evening on her way home.

Few of my favorite things...
Clever commercials, HGTV and the Redlands Family Restaurant.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Disneyland tomorrow, followed by a 4-day work week. No complaints here.

Here is a photo I am sharing with you...
Molly just scanned an old photo of me circa 1996, I believe. Ah, to be 18 again.

All them crazy elephant bones

2010-04-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

The trip to Cambria was a lovely respite from the work week, and we totally pulled off the surprise for Tai's birthday. Good friends, good food, not-so-good wine, historical landmarks and good samaritan acts to protect the virtue of strangers (we did what we could), I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Day Book 03.30.10

2010-03-30T18:48:00.000-07:00

Dear blog, I'm sorry I've neglected you for a whole month. I promise to try and do better. In the mean time, have a Day Book entry.

Outside my Window...
Spring is here and baby leaves are sprouting on the apricot tree that hangs over our patio.

I am thinking...
Coffee tonight with Michelle sounds really goooooood.

I am thankful for...
A great day at work today.

From the kitchen...
Nothing, tonight. Not really hungry and I'll just get a snack at Coffee Bean. Jared is fending for himself. Which probably means Top Ramen is on the menu.

I am creating...
So not creative lately. Been busy, busy, busy and am missing my creative side.

I am wearing...
Jeans (of course), black tank, black ballet flats and a lime green cardigan.

I am reading...
Shanghai Girls by Lisa See. Not as good as Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, but well written nonetheless.

I am hoping...
That my sister's surgery next week goes off without a hitch.

I am hearing....
The washing machine

Around the house...
A huge stack of mail that I need to go through, and graph paper all over the coffee table. Jared's in his "designing-our-dream-home-mode" again.

Few of my favorite things...
My quiet drive at 6am on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays is turning out to be quite enjoyable. What a nice surprise.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Coffee, King's Fish, hair appointments Thursday and a lovely weekend planned.

Here is a favorite quote I am sharing with you...
"The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far is as needed?"

Heaven can wait, we're only watching the skies

2010-02-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed that it doesn’t take much to make you feel nostalgic? Take last night for instance. We were over at Crystal’s place for a low-key movie night. Around 9:30 or so, Kim texted me to let me know that she was finished with an event and that I could swing by and pick up some things she’d ordered for me. She only lives five minutes away from Crystal. I hop in the Mini and head over, leaving Jared & Crystal in the middle of “Inglorious Basterds.”

Perhaps I should have mentioned that this is in Redlands, where I moved when I was 12 and didn’t leave until I was 20. I pass the AM-PM on the corner of Redlands Boulevard and Citrus Avenue where I used to put $10 worth of gas in my first car, an old, ’89 Ford Escort. Why only $10? Was gas that cheap then? Well, it was cheaper, but that certainly didn’t fill up my tank. No, it was usually because I had about $20 to spend for the evening. $10 for gas, $2.75 for a pack of cigarettes that, if I didn’t finish by the end of the night I would hide under the seat of my car so Mom wouldn’t find them, even though I was legally an adult. That left me enough for the cover charge at Metro and one or two drinks. (And Mom still found my cigarettes eventually. That was an interesting evening...)

Four blocks west from there I pass The Frugal Frigate, the children’s bookstore I worked at for the last half of high school and the first half of college. It’s changed hands a couple of times since my time there. Jared and I went in a few months ago to poke around. It looks nicer on the outside since the latest owner had the exterior repainted. But the magic that used to be inside when Katherine owned it has long since dissipated, and I don’t anticipate returning again.

A little farther west, Citrus Avenue turns into Brookside. I see the apartment where an ex used to live. I remember the ups and oh-so-many downs of us as immature humans playing at adult games. That was the El Nino year of 1998. There was so much rain that winter, and I recall loving it because it matched my mood. And man, that was a tough break-up. We did so much damage to each other. At least that’s how I remember it.

Kim’s house is just a block or so past there. It’s on a quiet street that, until she purchased the home, I never looked at twice. I remember a sleepover at her parent’s house across town when we were 15. I specifically recall this one because it was spent talking on the phone with her new boyfriend at the time, after her parents went to bed. We had no idea what a real relationship was, but we couldn’t wait to grow up and find out.

After a brief but overdue visit with Kim, I’m heading back to Crystal’s. Passing all these places again, the nostalgia, which really didn’t have time to fade in the 20 minutes at Kim’s, creeps back. But this time I notice other things as well.

That apartment that my ex lived in - it’s across the street from the apartment that my now-husband used to live in. He lived there with his two best friends, who I love, and who stood next us on our wedding day, long after they’d all moved on from sharing a bachelor pad.

Two blocks to the north of The Frugal Frigate is a salon that I didn’t even know existed when I lived those 8 years in Redlands. Not until I met one of my now-best friends who works there at the end of 2008. And now, on the rare occasion that I stop at that AM-PM, I can fill up my tank because I’m no longer on the tight budget of a college student working for barely above minimum wage.

And that ex? After several years, we reconnected. We talk periodically, and it’s like old times, without the bad stuff. Just the friends we were meant to be, who can talk the way that friends are meant to talk. We’ve both grown up and aren’t just playing at being adults now. Jared likes him, too.

And as I got back to Crystal’s place and settled in on the sofa, Jared falling asleep with his head in my lap and Crystal and I enjoying “Whip It,” I realized how far we’ve all come, yet how easy it is to remember years ago as if it were yesterday. I am a happy girl. Wait, I mean woman.

***

There is no frigate like a book
To take us lands away,
Nor any coursers like a page
Of prancing poetry.

This traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of toll;
How frugal is the chariot
That bears a human soul!

-E. Dickinson

***

I hardly knew ya

2010-02-16T19:36:00.001-08:00

My favorite band, Flogging Molly, has released their latest song, "Punch Drunk Grinning Soul" and you can download it for free. Because they're awesome like that.

Download Here

And you can watch the amazing music video here.

Slainte!

Day Book 02.06.10

2010-02-06T00:29:00.000-08:00

I haven't done one of these in a while.

Outside my Window...
It's raining.

I am thinking...
I wish I could just love the rain like I want to, but it inevitably means more work next week. *sigh*

I am thankful for...
My husband. He's had the week from hell and hasn't taken it out on me once. He's even gone out of his way to make my week better. I am a lucky girl.

From the kitchen...
Take out from Spaghetti Eddie's.

I am creating...
Nothing at the moment. I should fix that.

I am wearing...
Jeans (shocker) and a Cat Power shirt from their show last Valentine's weekend in Santa Barbara. And nap socks. They're heaven.

I am reading...
Just started "Dear John" and am in the midst of "The Picture of Dorian Gray" as well.

I am hoping...
That Jared doesn't have to work a full day tomorrow.

I am hearing....
Star Trek TNG

Around the house...
It's a bit cluttered. It's been a long week.

Few of my favorite things...
OPI Nail Envy, Dr. Pepper, and the knowledge that I'll be in bed shortly.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Week is almost over. Plans for tomorrow include taking Rosie for the vaccinations that the vet forgot to give her last week while she was having her teeth cleaned, a hair appointment with Miss Crystal, some sort of socializing tomorrow evening and a Superbowl party on Sunday at Dan & Julie's house in Temecula.

Here is a picture I am sharing with you... Rosie after her vet visit last weekend. Her leg looks like a poodle leg. I have been teasing her mercilessly about it this week. She looks ridiculous.

Take this week and shove it.

2010-02-06T00:16:00.000-08:00

This week has been gnarly. Poor Jared has to work tomorrow (Saturday, gasp!) which is so disappointing. But rather than complain to you, I decided to give myself a happy and finally order the laptop case I've been coveting for 6 months.

Janine King Designs makes such awesome stuff! I have purchased the following and can't wait for delivery. Plus now I'll have a safe place to store my MacBook while at Comic-Con this year, and I love the loud print that makes it easily identifiable.

Behold.

And I also splurged on this cute little pouch for my phone.

It may be shallow, but I'm already feeling a little better about this lousy week. A little.

An education

2010-01-31T20:24:00.000-08:00

Growing up in a small town in southern Mississippi, my exposure to music was limited to what was playing on the one of two stations that played current hits. This means that the only songs by The Cure that I knew growing up were Just Like Heaven and Lovesong, and that some of my friends pronounced “Depeche Mode” as “Da-pee-chee Mode.” Horrifying.

So when I moved to California in 1990, not only was the music catalog in my head staggeringly limited, but I was the laughing stock of my 7th grade class within the first week of school. Definitely the country bumpkin who still said “y’all” though I desperately tried to quell that habit as quickly as possible.

My musical education started late and slowly. I was raised in a household that played only classical, which I still love and is amazing in its own right, but there was so much more to be discovered. With more radio stations to choose from in California, it definitely improved, but it wasn’t until one day in 8th grade that something happened. And as it turns out, most of the spoiled kids in my Catholic school weren’t that enlightened either.

Then Mr. Abbott brought in a record, turned out the lights and told us to all close our eyes and just listen. It started out quietly, with what sounded like a synthesized organ playing almost a hymn-like melody. I could already feel that something important was about to happen. As I sat there in the classroom, eyes closed as I’d been instructed, I then heard an electric guitar start an off-beat but rhythmic arpeggio. My chest tightened a little at this point in anticipation. Once the drums and bass kicked in, I was in full flight in my head. I listened for some five-plus minutes in complete rapture, ignoring everyone else around me. The slight pops and clicks of the record player were the only thing keeping me tethered to the room.

After it was over, I opened my eyes and Mr. Abbott was looking right at me. I just stared at him. Most of the other kids in the class were already talking amongst themselves about how “that was weird” and “why did he make us close our eyes?” But I got it. And Mr. Abbott saw that I got it. And he smiled.

To this day I can’t hear this song without thinking of Mr. Abbott. I wonder where he is, how he’s doing, if he has a family and if his kids know how lucky they are. I wonder if he’s still teaching. I hope so.

I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I want to reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name

I really need to make this happen.

2010-01-22T18:36:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, Mom gave me the KitchenAid Mixer I've been coveting.

Exhibit A

I just came across this recipe and need to make this happen STAT. Perhaps Sunday I'll have the time? Might be a nice treat to take in the office for my first day Monday morning...

Guinness and Baileys Irish Cupcakes

Ingredients
Serving: 24 cupcakes
1 cup stout (Guinness)
16 tbsp. unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. salt
2 large eggs
2/3 cup sour cream

For the Baileys ganache filling:
8 oz. bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
2/3 cup heavy cream
2 tbsp. butter, at room temperature
2 tsp. Baileys Irish cream

For the Baileys butter cream frosting:
8 tbsp. unsalted butter, at room temperature
3-4 cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
4-8 tbsp. Bailey's Irish cream

Method

To make the cupcakes, preheat the oven to 350° F. Line two cupcake pans with paper liners. Combine the stout and butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the cocoa powder and whisk until smooth. Remove from the heat and allow to cool slightly.

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat together the eggs and sour cream to blend.

Add the stout-butter mixture and beat just to combine. Mix in the dry ingredients on low speed just until incorporated. Divide the batter evenly between the cupcake liners, filling them about 2/3 to 3/4 full.

Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 17 minutes. Allow to cool in the pan for 5-10 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

To make the ganache filling, place the chocolate in a heatproof bowl. Heat the cream in a small saucepan until simmering, then pour it over the chocolate. Let sit for one minute and then whisk until smooth. If the chocolate is not completely melted, place the bowl over a double boiler or give it a very short burst in the microwave (15-20 seconds). Add the butter and Baileys and stir until combined.

Set aside to let the ganache cool until it is thick enough to be piped. (You can use the refrigerator to speed the cooling process, but be sure to stir every 10 minutes or so to ensure even cooling.)

Source

Kickin' it just for you!

2010-01-15T22:49:00.000-08:00

I heard "Motownphilly" on the radio this evening while driving. Epic win.

This week has been a crazy one, but I'm not in the mood to go into details. Suffice it to say that lots of information was gathered, decisions were made and I am looking forward to the future, like, woah.

Tomorrow finds us attending the wedding of one of Jared's childhood friends. I have never met this person or his bride-to-be, but weddings are always interesting at the very least, and have the potential to be awesome at best. Congratulations to Bryan and Brooke! Looking forward to meeting them tomorrow.

This evening was spent with take out, the sofa, Jared and the DVD player. I am ashamed to admit, but I've never read Wuthering Heights before. In a slight effort to correct this, as I've been told it's one of the great works of lit, I watched a film version of it. I chose to netflix the one with Matthew MacFadyen, which was made in 1998. I specifically chose this one because MacFadyen is the best Mr. Darcy I've ever seen, so I figured if he was in this it couldn't be all bad. I was right. He was the only redeeming quality of this movie. And thank god he didn't play Heathcliff. I don't know how true to the book this version of the film was, but holy hell, I never want to read the novel or see another version of this story. Despicable characters, and some of the plot elements of this story left even MY abilities for suspension of disbelief struggling in vain.

Dear Ms. Emily Bronte,

I know that there are a lot of people out there that think you were the more talented sister. But I'll take Charlotte's "Jane Eyre" over this piece of shite any day.

Yours sincerely,
Erin

T-minus 10 days until my move into our new Irvine offices. And on that note, I leave you with a little HoJo.

"We're not scared to lose it all
Security throw through the wall
Future dreams we have to realize
A thousand sceptic hands
Won't keep us from the things we plan
Unless we're clinging to the things we prize

And do you feel scared - I do
But I won't stop and falter
And if we threw it all away
Things can only get better..."

I highly recommend...

2010-01-13T03:01:00.001-08:00

The new Vampire Weekend album. It's an amazing follow up to their debut album. And it's totally not in a hey-our-first-album-did-really-well-so-lets-try-to-recreate-the-same-thing way.

Do it now! Or, you know, whenever. Your choice.

xoxo.
Enjoy.

Oh, Danny Boy...

2010-01-11T18:53:00.000-08:00

While browsing Irish Central, like you do, I came across these amazing vintage Irish ads. I'm in love. Here's my favorite 4.

The future's so bright I gotta wear shades

2010-01-11T00:18:00.000-08:00

*Disclaimer: potentially very dry subject matter ahead. You have been warned.

Don’t you just love that feeling when a weight is lifted off your shoulders? Who doesn’t?! That’s what happened to me this week, and I’m over the moon about it. Since 2004 I have worked from home in some capacity or another. Over the years it went from dividing my time between office and home, to working solely out of my home with my nearest office being 3000 miles away in Manhattan.

Finding my niche in this industry (insurance) has been a long process (by my definition, at least) for me. I’m on my fourth company in eight and a half years, and the first five years were spent at one company. That’s a lot of movement in the last three-point-five years by anyone’s standards if you ask me. It was getting very disheartening by the time I was at my third company, Travelers Insurance, and miserable on a daily basis. That company was, by far, the worst insurance company I’ve ever worked for. It got so bad that I very nearly chucked it all and went to grad school for something - anything - just so I didn't have to work for that blasted company anymore. But after a little more thought on the matter, I realized that going to grad school for something that I hadn't take a sufficient amount time to figure out if I was passionate about was potentially a very big (and expensive) mistake. I decided to hunker down and see what else was out there in my industry. And at the time I told myself that if this next insurance company, whoever it was, didn’t work out better, well then I was just done with this career. So when an opportunity came up to work for Tower Insurance Company I jumped at it. The letters of recommendation and official copies of my college transcripts are now collecting dust, and I'm okay with that.

No longer having to be a field adjuster going into peoples’ homes and businesses, spending sometimes more than half my working day on freeways, was just the first thing about Tower that peaked my interest. Accepting the position as an examiner was a step up the ladder from field, as well. And hold the phone. You’re going to pay me THAT much more money and I still work from home?! Where do I sign???

When I tell people that I work from home, they get a wistful look on their face mixed with a little tinge of envy. But I’m here to tell you that if you’re one of those people, you’re not missing anything if you work like I do. I have had such a hard time separating work from home life the past seven months! And when you work out of your home, that’s a huge problem. Whether it be distractions during the day, or the fact that I’m a total night owl and will sometimes work from 9pm to 2am and adjust my hours worked during the day accordingly, it has really taken its toll emotionally. I know I can do this better.

Last Monday we offered a position to a good friend of mine from my Mercury Insurance days, and she accepted it. But there was a caveat with her employment... she has to come into our new office in Irvine Monday through Friday. That was almost a deal breaker for her since she’s been in the field since 2003, and doesn't suffer from the same issues of working from home that I do. Since the three original examiners (myself included) worked solely from home, why did she have to come in every day? But they made her a good offer and she feels like she’s hit a plateau at Mercury, so she accepted the position.

It was then that I made the decision to also voluntarily come into the office every day. I called the new branch manager and explained that I’d like to NOT work from home anymore. Meredith and I can carpool since we live down the street and around the corner from one another. Irvine is 45 miles away from us, and if we take the toll roads to get to Orange County, we’ll be fine. Mer and I decided to trade off with the driving every other week. And it doesn’t hurt that I love driving my Mini.

Of course the manager said yes, and I start going in on the 25th. I am honestly so happy with this decision. I think that getting on a regular schedule, being in an office with no distractions, and getting to leave the job at the office come the end of the day is exactly what I need to 1) Get some balance. 2) Actually get my body on a normal sleep schedule. 3) (And best of all) I’ll be able to do my job much better and take pride in my work again. Two more weeks of working from home and then no more!

2010 is starting off really damn well.

Farewell Christmas...

2010-01-02T18:56:00.000-08:00

It was fun while you were here. Took the Mama to Disneyland on Tuesday evening to catch the Christmas fireworks and take in the decorations. And did you know they have Santa's reindeer there?! They're a lot smaller in person. And way cute.

And an almost-full moon over Thunder Mountain.

"We'll take a cup of kindness yet"

2010-01-01T00:14:00.000-08:00

2010 is here and I'm curled up on the sofa with Jared and Rosie. In contrast to the bash we threw at our place last year, we elected to go the low-key route this time around. The Christmas decorations are put away. We watched the Waterford crystal ball drop in Times Square on the telly and marveled at how tragic Dick Clark is sounding after his stroke a few years ago. He's almost impossible to understand at times, and my childhood weeps a little for him.

Last year I couldn't wait to bid 2008 goodbye and good riddance! And while 2009 has had its ups and downs, I can't say that I'm kicking it out the door like I did with 2008. Even the lower points (the cancer possibly coming back for instance) had their flip sides (the hysterectomy that I asked for 5 years ago). For friends and family, this year has brought the good and the bad as well. But the hardships endured this past year will hopefully turn around for the better in the new one.

Since I don't make new years resolutions, in honor of 2010 I'll list 10 things I'm looking forward to and am grateful for instead. In no particular order...

1. Flogging Molly kicking off the year on a good note at the House of Blues Anaheim on 1/1/10.

2. Attending our second Comic-Con in July.

3. Being employed with a company that I like in these uncertain economical times.

4. More road trips with Jared and Leftenant Sebastian.

5. Even more good times with amazing friends. This is including, but certainly not limited to Game Nights, 80s clubs, and drinking and debauchery with The Whiskey Gang.

6. Will the Colts come to play the Chargers this year? If so, I'm there.

7. Continued diplomacy in the sharing of our Weezer Snuggie. We have only the one, and so far no bloodshed has ensued.

8. Both mindless summer action flicks and life-affirming films. What will this years "500 Days of Summer" be?

9. Seeing if our cat will do something mind-numbingly cute that will cause us to add yet another name to her ridiculously long one already. (Princess Meowzebub Rosie Cotton Fancypants Cindersoot Short-Bus Squeaker Slytherin Sundae the Second.)

10. Rejoicing in the good fortunes that may befall my loved ones, lamenting the sorrows that inevitably come, and trying to be a good friend.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

...

'Twas the afternoon before Christmas

2009-12-24T16:01:00.000-08:00

Both Jared and I had to work a half-day today, and thankfully that half is now over. We've parked out butts on the sofa, I'm wrapped in my Weezer Snuggie (don't be jealous), and A Charlie Brown Christmas is playing. *Bliss*

Snoopy-dance!

STOP! Snuggie time.

Christmas flowers on the 23rd. <3

Our Flogging Molly tickets came today! So. Excited.

Last night we ventured out to Disneyland to take in the Christmas sights. We met up with Michelle and Jeremy, had dinner and watched fireworks back near It's A Small World. It was also Vaneca's birthday and we kept trying to find a convenient way to meet up with their group as well, but one logistical snafu after another prevented it. I heard she had a lovely birthday, though.

Naturally, a flurry of photo-taking ensued.

Well, all my gift wrapping is done. We're up early tomorrow to head to Jared's sister's house for breakfast in Banning. Wishing you all the merriest of Christmases.
xoxo

Brown paper packages tied up with string.

"Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished."
-Francis Pharcellus Church

Baby, it's cold outside!

2009-12-20T23:36:00.000-08:00

After a lovely evening chatting with my sister-in-law I declare this weekend over. Christmas is just around the corner and everything is pretty much done, much to my relief. Today was spent lounging around the house, watching football and munching on snacks. Jared has been drawing up our "dream house" after having a dream about it last week, and it's kind of awesome. It makes me feel all warm and squishy inside seeing him excited over our future, even if that future is years and years away. I'm happy in our little condo for now... it's the perfect size for us and the cat. But we've always dreamed of having a Craftsman house of our very own. We even ordered this book to help with some ideas, and just to oogle the photos of architectural heaven (for us, at least).

Yesterday we went to Magic Mountain. We were only there for about 7 hours, but holy bejeebus if it didn't make the fact that I am no longer 21 startlingly clear! Some of those rollercoasters were just not even fun for me anymore. I don't like having my head banged around like a rag doll. But some of them were awesome, Tatsu and Terminator Salvation being my two favorites. And I'm betting that Tatsu is the closest I'll ever feel to flying, unless we see mass marketed jet-packs for the general public in my lifetime. (Check out the video on the web page if you're interested.)

Here's to a 3 1/2 day work week this week and next! Things at work are getting a bit better for me. While I still have lots of work to catch up on, after putting in two late nights last week I feel like I can breathe again. And I still love the company I'm working for... it's just the nature of the job that has its ups and downs.

And what the heck is up with Brittany Murphy dying?! Makes me sad. I really liked her, and was hoping to hear more music from her, as well. Guess that's not going to happen.

Here's the photo booth pics we took at the park yesterday. I love those things. Makes me feel like a kid again.

Good night!

Christmas time is here

2009-12-12T23:45:00.000-08:00

It was pouring today. P-O-U-R-I-N-G. And guess who still had some Christmas shopping to do? After running to Anthropologie, running back to the car (to drop off stuff so it didn't get soaked), then to Sephora, then back to the car, then to Urban Outfitters and back to the car I called it quits. Luckily I only have one more small thing I need for Mom's gift, and one more thing to get for Jared and I'm DONE.

Then it was off to the tree lot - in the rain, still. I will say this, though. Shopping in the rain for a tree cut down on the hemming and hawing on whether we had the right one. Sure, it has a sort of Charlie Brown quality to it - turns out it's a little loppy on one side, and there's some branches that stick out kinda funny like your hair the morning after a night of heavy drinking. But it turned out pretty good, I think.

Some of my favorite parts of our tree...

The tree-topper that's older than me

Waterford crystal ornament from our Ireland trip

Little Jared

My skin hates the winter, but the rest of me loves it.

2009-12-10T18:10:00.000-08:00

Nothing monumental, but these two things are the only thing saving my skin and lips this season. I guess some things just can't be improved on. And save the cow jokes. :)

Bag Balm

Smith's Rosebud Salve

Run, run, Rudolph!

2009-12-08T21:27:00.001-08:00

Working on Christmas cards finally. I can't get over how time has flown. It seems like yesterday that I had a month and a half until Christmas - all the time in the world to be super prepared and whatnot. And now here we are, two and a half weeks away! I am such a chiche.

Most of my Christmas shopping is done, except for my cousins, aunt and uncle, and Jared. Well, that and the thus far unprofessional seller on Etsy who has yet to contact me or ship some items I ordered on 11/29. I'm giving them two more days to respond before I dispute the charge, report them to Etsy and leave them the worst possible rating. And then there's 4 more gifts that I have to find that I thought I had done. But I'm not letting it get me down. Instead I'm going to listen to the birds - and right now, they're telling me "Merrie Xmas!"

Work has been going well this week, and I'm feeling that I've been able to get more done lately. My phone hasn't been ringing as much, so I'm guessing that's a big part of it. And I can't get enough of my Christmas music! I wait all year for it to be time to pull out the old records, the newer CDs, and to re-check the songs on my iTunes to put them back in rotation.

My favorite playlist:

Fairytale of New York - The Pogues
Last Christmas - Jimmy Eat World
The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
This Time of the Year - Brook Benton
Sleigh Ride - Leroy Anderson and the Boston Pops
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Leon Redbone and Zooey Deschanel
Christmas in Space - Tori Amos
Oiche Chiun - Enya
Christmas Is All Around - Billy Mack
Glasgow Love Theme (from Love Actually) - Craig Armstrong
Blue Christmas - Elvis Presley
Merry Christmas From the Family - Montgomery Gentry
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (mambo) - Billy May
Winter Wonderland - Peggy Lee
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas - Judy Garland
Song for a Winter's Night - Sarah McLachlan
The entire Charlie Brown Christmas Album
The Disneyland Christmas Album (c. 1980)

"Luck, let a gentleman see... just how nice a dame you can be"

2009-11-22T17:34:00.000-08:00

We're home from a weekend in Vegas and what a lovely weekend it was. Well, except for Jared being sick with a cold. I debated on canceling the trip but he insisted that he was fine to go. I'm still not convinced that he was right, but it's a moot point now. We had the most mellow weekend that we've ever spent in Vegas. I forgot the camera, so no photos for this post.

We left around 6:30pm on Friday and got in a little before 10. Our room was comped, which was the only reason we went in the first place. We decided to ask if they had any rooms with the jacuzzi tubs still available, and unfortunately they were all booked. They did have a "celebrity suite" available, but when she told me it was 1575 square feet, I figured, "forget it, I don't even want to know how much that is." Turns out it was $300 a night, but they were running a special and gave it to us for half-off.

Let me stipulate that this is in the South Tower at Bally's. The South Tower has not been renovated recently, unlike the North Tower. We'd never stayed in the South Tower before, but figured what the hell... HA! Ok, the room was HUGE. 1575 s.f. is bigger than our condo. But the decor... oh my. These rooms haven't seen a decorator since 1988 I'm guessing. Beige, pale pink and pastel blue accents. For the most part, the furnishings were nice, with the sofas and chaises having been reupholstered sooner rather than later. But some of the pieces, namely a couple of the arm chairs and one of the coffee tables, had definitely seen better days. And the mirrored wall behind the king sized bed in the bedroom? Uh, yeah.

The good points? Being as Jared wasn't feeling all that well, we spent quite a bit of time in the room. Having 3 different sitting areas, it was nice to spread out depending on what we felt like doing. TV in one area, or sitting on the sofas facing the floor-to-ceiling windows with a view of the strip and the Bellagio fountains. The best part was the gigantic jacuzzi. It comfortably fit two. And get your mind out of the gutter. Unfortunately being sick precludes any hanky-panky. But it was nice to just sit there and soak in the hot water and bubbles.

Saturday we were supposed to meet up with Athena for lunch at Firefly, but poor thing got sick and couldn't make it. That's twice we've tried to meet up and failed. :( Ah, well. Perhaps next time.

Since we'd had a rather late breakfast of room service, we decided to skip lunch and ventured out to the Miracle Mile shops, but quickly changed our minds and opted for a movie at the very uncrowded United Artists theater just down the strip a little way. After that we walked back to Bally's and got Leftenant Sebastian from the valet and headed to Lawry's for an early dinner around 6. It was awesome as always.

Back to Bally's by 7:30, we rested for about an hour in the room and then went down to the Paris for some gambling. Crazy 4 Poker was very good to us, and for once we cashed out when we were ahead. Since we were up, we decided to play the Signs of the Zodiac $1 slot machine that was on the way back to our room. It was good to us in the past and since we were way up, we figured why the heck not? Up, down, up, down. At one point I'd turned $100 into $322! Then it all went down to our last $5 pull and we totally came back. After we were back up to $200 we decided not to press our luck and call it an early night. Jared needed sleep anyhow.

I stayed up and watched SNL - only because Joseph Gordon Levitt was hosting - and it was terrible as usual. JGL was awesome with the material he was given, but christ-on-crutches if that show hasn't gone down the toilet. His opening number, the Jack Johnson skit and his final skit as Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything were the highlights. That, and Dave Matthews Band as the musical act.

We left by 11:45 this morning and made it home around 3:30. After some take-out from Panda Inn, we're on the sofa watching the Bears-Eagles game, Jared curled up with Rosie and his bammi, feeling like poop. I wish he could just take the next 3 days off of work and rest to kick this cold for good, but he's running the job this week as Clint is in Glamis. Pfft.

Happy short week, all!
xoxo

Mom's Birthday in Santa Monica

2009-11-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

My mother loves the ocean. No, really. She LOVES the ocean. So for her birthday we decided to take her down to Santa Monica for a yummy dinner at The Lobster and a stroll down the Santa Monica Pier and 3rd St. Promenade.

If you like seafood, then I cannot recommend this restaurant enough. It was absolutely wonderful! From the service, to the ocean view, to the fare on the menu. We each ordered our own starters and desserts so we could try different things. The jumbo prawn cocktail, butternut squash soup with lobster and wedge salad with Maytag bleu cheese were all awesome (except don't ask Jared about the soup. He hates butternut squash.) Jared had the King crab legs, Mom and I both ordered the Halibut. And dessert! *sigh* Blackberry cobbler, chocolate bread pudding and some sort of caramelized pineapple with creme fraiche goodness was enjoyed. And don't forget the 20-year tawny port. Mouthgasm.

Adjacent to the pier is "Arlington West," a memorial set up in the sand to the fallen service men and women from Iraq and Afghanistan. There was a woman down there among the crosses playing a long wooden flute, and as I walked down there she started playing Taps. Hauntingly beautiful and desolate-sounding, I only stayed down there to snap a few photos, lest I do more than tear up like I did.

Pacific Park provided lots of opportunities to photograph lights at night, one of my favorite things. Neon rules.

Tomorrow is football and scrapbooking with Michelle. Can't wait! Hope you're all having a lovely weekend, friends.

xoxo

Better late than never, right?

2009-11-07T21:38:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday we threw our first Halloween party. My lovely sister- and brother-in-law helped Jared and I get ready for the festivities. They did a fantastic job on the lights and cobwebs on the patio, and we also changed out all the bulbs in the dining and living room fixtures to red... gave it a nice overall effect.

I'll be honest. At the beginning of the evening I was in a sour-puss mood. One by one, people were canceling at the last minute and before 9pm we were down 5 confirmed guests. Trying not to be in a funk because after all, this was supposed to be a party, our friends started arriving. By 10:30 things were in full swing and we had a total of 15 of our nearest and dearest at our place. The purple punch we concocted was of epic proportions, and people were talking about the "evil purple death punch" for days afterward. After a game of "the good, the bad and the ugly" which was administered by Bob Dot (take small sips people! I cannot stress this enough!) it got crazy!

To those of you who couldn't make it for feeling under the weather, I hope you're doing better - you were missed!

Best costume awards went to Kristi & Brent for best couple (Wayne and Garth), Crystal for best girl (Maude Lebowski) and Jay for best guy (Ghostbuster, complete with proton pack and ghost trap). My sister-in-law also made the cutest Alice Cullen, and our "brother" Sean also made it! Twas so lovely to see him again.

Thanks to all our friends who made it out! Enjoy the show.

Pumpkins, Pasta and Pie

2009-10-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was our annual trip to Oak Glen to pick pumpkins with the family. We met at my Mom's house and then drove up to Riley's Farm for some apple pie, archery, tomahawk throwing and pumpking picking.

After the day trip, Jeremy and Michelle came back to our house and brought Tabitha, their Boston Terrier/Pug mix, to carve pumpkins and make yummy Italian vittles. Spaghetti with "meat" sauce, salad with red peppers and red onion, garlic bread and pumpkin pie for dessert - it's making me hungry again just typing about it.

It really was a lovely day. I love spending time with my sister- and brother-in-law, and mellow Saturday evening of cooking and hanging out was just what I needed.

L to R, Michelle's, mine, Jeremy's... Jared merely likes to observe. This being only the second pumpkin I've ever carved IN MY LIFE, I kept it simple. I love Jeremy's - it looks like an Anime pumpkin. And Michelle's is always awesomely evil!

Miss Tabitha

xoxo

5 years

2009-10-25T12:51:00.001-07:00

On Friday, Jared and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. It was amazing! We originally wanted to go to Paris for this occasion, but the economy being what it is we decided to table that for our 7th. I couldn't have asked for a better anniversary than this one. I'm not going into detail... but Aloft on 4th St. is an awesome little hotel for a tryst close to home. :)

The rooms look like they could be furnished by West Elm

And I've always wanted a Moonbeam Alarm Clock! I just may have to buy one now.

Bath amenities by Bliss :)

"This s*** just got real"

2009-10-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend consisted of vengance, karaoke and a lovely little film.

First up: Friday evening we headed out to Victoria Gardens to meet up with my friend Annie whom I haven't seen in months! Originally we'd planned to have dinner at Lucille's and then see Where the Wild Things Are. But after seeing how many people were there, we decided that we could see that in a week or two when it was perhaps less crowded. That, and the people in line for it were just too fashionable for me. Texts From Last Night put it best when someone said that they looked like Radiohead and Urban Outfitters had sex. I can only handle so many skinny jeans and plaid shirts at a time.

Instead, we saw Law Abiding Citizen. A movie about avenging your loved ones' murder AND Gerry Butler? Yes, please. Gruesome, righteous and a decent twist, I can recommend this movie to the not-too-squeamish. There's only one truly gruesome part, but boy is it icky. Loved this movie, though.

Saturday evening started out rocky when we joined some friends at The Underground for some karaoke. Hot, stuffy, loud and clientele that left much to be desired, we ended up at Taylor's instead, around 11:45. A little dive bar with vinyl covered chairs, sticky floor and a cash only bar, this place was awesome! We had so much fun. And. AND! I actually sang a song all by myself this time. Having only sang karaoke once before, a duet with Crystal, I was SO nervous. But so glad that I did it, and it won't be so hard next time. CCR's "Fortunate Son" rules me.

Sunday's not over yet, but it's winding down. It's ten minutes to eight as I type this and we're still in our jammies. We're so hot. But it's been a lovely day of watching one of my teams (N.O. Saints) kick the snot out of the Giants (sorry Athena!) and some yummy Thai that was delivered for dinner from Thai T. I miss cooking since we've been out and about all weekend, and am looking forward to nesting this week at home, save for a coffee date with my sister-in-law on Wednesday. Oh, and that pesky Homeowners' Association meeting on Thursday. Bleh.

Last but in no way least, we watched a movie that we came across this afternoon and loved it! Kabluey is one of those movies that makes you laugh, makes you think, and at times leaves you saying, "huh?" in the best of ways. According to their facebook page, the genre is classified as "melanchomedy." I never knew that this was a genre, but it describes this film, and others, perfectly. For a long time I've been trying to find a classification for films like Garden State, Lost In Translation, Death at a Funeral, Little Miss Sunshine and Juno. "Indie" didn't really fit because nowadays that doesn't tell you jack about the film itself. I'm really digging the melanchomedy classification. You can Netflix it, get it on Amazon or download it on iTunes. Hope you enjoy. Jared and I did.

Disneyland with the Mama

2009-10-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Mom and I took Monday off to go to Disneyland. Apparently Columbus Day is still a holiday in this country *snort* and man was it crowded! But we made the best of it, enjoying the surf and turf at The Blue Bayou, riding a few rides, including Haunted Mansion Holiday (which we at least had the foresight to get FastPass for), and watched Fantasmic! and the Halloween fireworks show. I'm so glad they brought back their Dia de los Muertos homage - muy bonita. I also had too much fun taking scads of photos with my new camera. So much so that rather than embed them, you get a [pared-down, yikes!] slide show instead.

Miss Heather's Birthday

2009-10-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

On Friday the Whiskey Gang took Miss Heather to Rock The Keys for her birthday shindig. It was our first time there and can I just say that I can't wait to return? We had so. much. fun! Between the dueling pianos, the performers and their antics, and being surrounded by good friends, it was a night that I won't soon forget. The copious amounts of ethanol consumed didn't hurt either. For your viewing pleasure/laughter/scorn, I present...

A good start

Setting the mood

The birthday girl with her bestie

A Bob Dot

Watch out for this one. He's Shifty.

Dueling Pianos

Embarrassing the Birthday Girl on stage

My brother- and sister-in-law. I love these two.

The Whiskey Gang

Day Book

2009-10-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

Eep! Almost fell off my blogging wagon but I'm holding on...

Day Book for 10.08.09

Outside my Window...
Fall is here! I'm ecstatic about this. You have no idea.

I am thinking...
About a friend who is going through a rough patch. I hope he reaches out to someone, even if that someone isn't me.

I am thankful for...
Pretty shallow, but tonight I'm thankful that the housekeeper comes tomorrow. I still say it's the best $60 bucks I spend on a regular basis.

From the kitchen...
Taco salad.

I am creating...
More like need to work on: Erin B's character evaluation for the New York State Bar. I'm doing this next, so I can get it notarized tomorrow and off in the mail.

I am wearing...
Jeans and a black shirt. But not just any black shirt. One that shows off a portion of my back tattoo. I <3 ink.

I am reading...
Re-reading "New Moon." Again. Don't judge me.

I am hoping...
That we all have a great night at Rock the Keys for Miss Heather's birthday tomorrow!

I am hearing....
Running Up That Hill by Placebo.

Around the house...
My mantle is decorated for Halloween, Jared is fast asleep, and I need to put away the new-to-me records purchased from the thrift store before the maid comes tomorrow.

Few of my favorite things...
Ben & Jerry's Chubby Hubby and my Tempur-Pedic slippers. Thug life.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Business lunch at Panda Inn tomorrow, dueling pianos tomorrow night, and a lovely soiree planned at Kristi & Brent's on Saturday. I think Sunday football goes without saying, but I'm saying it anyway.

Here is a picture I am sharing with you..

Every day should be like Sunday

2009-09-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

We had a lovely evening with the sister- and brother-in-law at their bbq last night. They're housesitting for Caitlin's parents while in Italy for three weeks (*swoon*) and were told to feel free to invite friends over, so they did. Low key and tasty, drinks were imbibed, bbq was consumed and tummys and hearts were happy.

Today brought a trip out to Old Town Pasadena. We had lunch at a new (to us) restaurant, Bar Celona. Tapas = love. Not as good as Firefly in Las Vegas, but then again, who is?

Jared enjoying some tasty vittles

The task of the day was to obtain a new trash can for the kitchen, as well as try and find some recycle bins for the patio that were a) unoffensive to look at, b) did not cost a small fortune, and c) could hold enough to make a trip to the recycle station worthwhile and still be small enough to not be a pain in the tuchas to lift into the truck. Of course all our answers would be found at:

We were able to pick up three of these for the patio:

And this for the kitchen:

Mission accomplished, we are now home and enjoying Sunday foozeball with Rosie. The Eagles won today (Jared's happy) and we'll see how the Colts fare against the Cardinals this evening. Happy Sunday, all.

2009-09-25T12:57:00.000-07:00

"It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility."
-Chris Knight, Real Genius

I'll get back to work shortly, I swear. But while I'm enjoying my lunch of a super fattening ham and cheddar croissant I figured I should take the opportunity to keep my promise to myself of updating relatively consistently.

TONIGHT! Disneyland with Michelle & Jeremy - it's been too long. Everyone should have a little magic every now and then. And I hear that they finally got the new dragon working at the end of Fantasmic! so that is top on my list.

In other news, the roses that Jared brought home on the 23rd have opened and are lovely.

Back to work. *sigh* Have a wonderful Friday!

Day Book

2009-09-24T00:43:00.000-07:00

One of the easiest ways to avoid writers' block is this nifty little concept that I stole from the lovely lisa_belle over at livejournal. She calls it the "Day Book" and you'll probably see quite a few of these posts from me...

Day Book for 09.24.09

Outside my Window...
It is still ridiculously warm for this time of year. It's times like these that I dislike living in Southern California. Fall, where art thou?

I am thinking...
Why do I continue to torture myself with dairy when I am lactose intolerant? Oh, that's right. Because it's SO tasty.

I am thankful for...
The family that I have created for myself. My steadfast (and totally hot) husband, my mother who is my rock, my sister-in-law with whom I can totally be myself with, my brother-in-law for his continual optimism, and my family of friends who each offer me something unique and, in turn, I hope I offer them something as well.

From the kitchen...
Salmon teriyaki and fried rice a la Erin (brown rice, almonds, sesame seeds and mushrooms)

I am creating...
My sister-in-law has decided to start scrapbooking, so that has prompted me to try and complete Xander's book that I started earlier in the year. It's coming along nicely. But making me miss my doggie more than usual.

I am wearing...
black pants and a dark purple tank

I am reading...
Re-reading to be accurate. "Smoke and Mirrors" a collection of short stories by Neil Gaiman. My favorite is still "The Price."

I am hoping...
That I will be able to fall asleep after this. It's WAY past my bedtime.

I am hearing....
Star Trek: TNG. Troy just had a baby! Eep!

Around the house...
The A/C is working overtime. "She works hard for the money..."

Few of my favorite things...
The Victorian Trading Co. catalogue, Better Homes & Garden's Christmas Ideas seasonal publication, the roses that my husband brought home to me today just because it was the 23rd.

A few plans for the rest of the week...
Two more days of work, a lunch meeting tomorrow (boo) at King's Fish (yay!), BBQ with Mish & Jerm on Saturday evening.

Here is a picture I am sharing with you..
Oh, Ireland. How I long to visit you again. Jared misses you, too.